One Shot
by DreamscomeTRUEEE
Summary: Natsu had only one shot. And he didn't treasure it. - "When Natsu saw Gray pushed up against the wall, making out with Lyon, he felt something deep within him break into a trillion tiny pieces. Why? He had never loved Gray, so why? Why did Gray's betrayal hurt so much when Natsu had been the one to cheat in the first place?" YAOI.
1. Prologue

**One shot**

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), NaLu, LoLu, LyoRay**_

_**Rating : M for future lemons **_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established relationship. Unbeta-ed. Mulitichaptered._**

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><p><em><strong>Prologue<strong>_

"Shitty flame!" Gray grinned widely, making his way towards the table Natsu and Lucy were seated at.

"What, pervy exhibitionist?" Natsu returned the grin with one of his own.

"I finally found a buyer! He was a total creep, but he bought my house by a high price so I don't care." Gray continued gleefully, "I never expected to profit that much."

Natsu frowned upon hearing that. "A creep? You're letting a creep live in the house you once lived, bathed and slept in?"

"Yup, so what? I mean," Gray sat down between the two and slung his arm over Natsu's shoulders, "I'm moving in with you, aren't I?"

Natsu immediately brightened, "Guess so!" Then he yanked Gray's head over and kissed him hard. Pulling away, he smirked at Gray's flushed cheeks. "Think of all the possibilities ~"

Lucy groaned loudly. "Aww, can you guys tone it down a little? Sure it was kinda cute in the beginning but now, seeing you guys in lovey-dovey mood 24/7 is really annoying."

Gray leaned in towards Lucy and teased, "Jealous, Blondie?"

The celestial spirit Mage pouted, "Maybe."

Visibly surprised, Natsu inquired, "Why? Aren't you dating the world's most hopeless romantic, Loke?"

Lucy stared at the ground, looking downcast. "Not anymore."

"Wait what? You guys broke up? You're like perfect for each other, that's stupid!" Gray exclaimed. "Does that horny lion need some ass-kicking?"

Lucy replied forlornly, "It's not his fault. It's me."

"You? How come?"

"We would never have worked out. He doesn't have what I'm searching for in a man, I guess."

"_Loke_ doesn't? He's the most desired man of Fiore, just how high are your requirements?" Gray looked honestly perplexed. "I still think it's silly, I've never seen Loke happier than the day he announced that the two of you were going out."

Lucy shrugged sadly, "I think I really do love him, but dating a celestial spirit just saps the energy from me, it's really taxing. I suppose I just don't love him enough."

"So... In your opinion, love isn't the most primary aspect of a romantic relationship?" Gray asked. "I don't understand." He turned to his boyfriend, "I don't suppose you do either, you stupid head of pink hair."

Natsu did not reply. He simply stared at Lucy, too stunned to move.

"Natsu?" Worried, Gray shook him softly. "Earth to Natsu? Do you copy?"

Finally snapping out of it, the dragon slayer opened his mouth, but he couldn't find any words to say. He swallowed, and found his voice at last. He directed his eyes towards Lucy, hoping to convey the things he wasn't able to voice out loud. "I'm... We're with you, Lucy."

Lucy looked at him and smiled sincerely, "Thank you."

Gray stood up then, "Well, I'm not going to stay around and gossip, I still have matters to attend to, what with the property selling and all. I won't be back until nightfall. See you. Love you, Natsu."

Hearing the last sentence, Natsu recoiled, looking like he had just been hit with a ton of bricks. "Ye... Yeah. Love you too, Gray."

When the ice mage's footsteps faded and his figure disappeared out of sight, Lucy pulled her seat closer to Natsu's.

She flicked her tongue, moistening her lips. Natsu's eyes followed her every movement.

Then she leaned in and reached out, placing her hand on Natsu's and caressing his hand gently. "I sincerely hope that I didn't misinterpret that look you gave me, Natsu. And well, since you're not pulling away, I guess my hunch was correct."

Lucy bit her lip. "Please understand that this is making me feel really bad, I don't want to hurt Gray. But..."

At the mention of Gray's name, Natsu stiffened. Then he made a quick and rash decision. He silenced Lucy with a kiss, his lips molding over hers.

Natsu was in heaven inside. Just how long had he waited for this, for the feeling of Lucy in his arms, her scent, her soft skin, and just her in general. How long had he harbored this unrequited love.

When their lips parted, Natsu tightened his hold on Lucy's hand. "Gray won't be home until the night. Come with me."

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><p><strong><em>Please drop me a review, even if it's just a smiley face, it'll mean the world to me. <em>**

**_-Dreams_**


	2. Chapter 1 - Downfall

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), NaLu, LyoRay, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for smut.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 1 - Downfall<strong>_

Gray yawned loudly and stretched as he dragged his feet across the pavement, on his way home.

_Home_. He liked the way it sounded.

When he reached the familiar door, his heartbeat started to increase. This would be the first time he entered this house, this home he shared with his adorable but idiot of a boyfriend with a different identity. This was also the day that marked the twelfth month they started dating. Today was special.

"I'm home", he whispered.

He stepped inside quietly, not wanting to wake his lover. Making his way up the stairs, he took special care to not step on the ones that creaked. Honestly, it surprised him how he knew the insides of Natsu's house like the back of his hand. Exhausted, he pulled off his shirt and prepared to get in the shower.

At the sight of the unwashed bed sheets crumpled on the washroom floor, he frowned. He really should start teaching Natsu to be neat, it wouldn't do if Gray did all the housework. Not that Gray didn't do them for him before he moved in, but still. Shaking his head in disapproval, he leaned down and picked the bed sheets up.

_This smell._

His eyes widened. How did he not notice the stench the moment he stepped inside?

The sheets stunk of sex.

More accurately, it stunk of semen. Natsu's dried semen. A smell that Gray was all too familiar with.

His heart began to run a marathon, but he relaxed almost immediately. How ridiculous. As if Natsu would cheat on him and not have the sense to wash the bed sheets, leaving it out in the open for him to notice. Scratch that, Natsu would never cheat on him either way, he was too loyal a person.

Yes, Natsu must have gotten horny and masturbated on the bed, that's all.

That was all.

Having convinced and reassured himself,he showered and headed to his place on the bed - on Natsu's right side.

As he got under the covers, he heard Natsu mumbling incoherently. He chuckled, sleep talking had always been a trait of his. A trait that, like everything else about him, Gray fell in love with.

"Laff..." Gray strained his ears, what did he say? Natsu spoke again, this time more clearly, and Gray actually laughed out loud.

"Love... Love you..."

That bastard, who gave him the permission to be so cute? Gray could feel his ears reddening, but he felt so happy. When Natsu had accepted his confession exactly a year before, Gray had felt in bliss but at the same time, insecure. Since then, he had always wondered if Natsu only did so out of pity. Natsu had never showed any signs that he loved him before, after all.

What a pleasant surprise. Turns out all his worries were over nothing. Natsu loved him. Natsu had been the one to suggest he sell his house and move in. Natsu always remembered to tell him that he loved him, every day, without fail. Come to think of it, this must mean that Natsu knew he was insecure, how pathetic.

Gray gently stroked Natsu's hair, smiling. Only when Natsu was asleep or unconscious did Gray allow himself to act like this. He didn't want Natsu to know that he was utterly under his spell. The idiot would only use it to his advantage and ask for stuff when Gray didn't want to.

This idiot was his. This idiot loved him. Enough to profess his love in his dreams.

Suddenly Natsu's lips moved, and Gray stared at them, wanting to make out the words.

"Love you... So much..."

That was it. He didn't care if he woke him, Gray was going to give him the kiss of his life. He placed his hand on Natsu's cheek and leaned in.

But before he could do so, two last syllables were uttered in a loving tone.

A name.

Gray's name did not have two syllables.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Natsu opened his eyes, feeling charged. Today was the day he would finally be together with the one he loved with all his heart. The one he had fallen in love with at the first sight. The one so beautiful everybody else paled in comparison.<p>

Finally. Finally, she was single.

Whistling a joyful tune, he hopped out of bed, had a rushed breakfast and headed to the guild.

He didn't notice the lack of warmth beside him. He forgot.

"Lucy!" He shouted loudly, unable to keep the excitement from his voice. "I have something to tell you!"

Lucy stood up. "So have I. Just the two of us, okay?"

Natsu nodded and followed her out the guild door. Once alone, he pulled Lucy into an embrace.

"I missed you."

Lucy's body was rigid. She pushed him away, her expression serious.

"Natsu. Yesterday was a one-time-only fling. I needed to be with someone and you were there, you wanted me. There was nothing else to it. Don't misunderstand."

"You...You're lying." Natsu shook his head in denial.

"No, I'm not. I'm sorry, but I don't love you like that, Natsu." Her eyes softened. "Plus, you have Gray, remember? Gray's my nakama, I can't do this to him."

"Who cares about Gray?" Natsu blurted, not thinking straight. The words "don't love you" were resonating in his head like a bad dream. He wanted to wake up. "He's a big boy, he can deal with it. But Lucy, I..." In tears, he choked out, "I love you, Lucy. I have for a very long time."

Lucy smiled sadly. "I'm sorry," she repeated softly. And she turned, leaving him heartbroken and alone.

Natsu broke down then. He whimpered, tears streaming down his face. He knew that he was eternally internally broken. But he needed to be strong. If Lucy didn't love him, there was nothing he could do. He couldn't force her to date him, he loved her too much to make her unhappy. Thus he picked up the remnants of his heart and pasted them together clumsily.

Wiping away his tears, he re-entered the guild hall.

Unbeknownst to him, Gray was broken beyond repair behind him. Gray couldn't feel himself. He couldn't even cry. He felt that he was frozen rigid, and he wanted to escape like this. He didn't want to face the cruel reality.

_"Who cares about Gray?" _

He wrapped his arms around himself, shivering.

_"He's a big boy, he can deal with it." _

"Is that so?" He whispered.

That was their first anniversary. Simultaneously, the day that marked the eventual doom of their relationship.

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><p>Natsu searched for black hair and pale skin. He desperately needed a source of comfort. He knew that Gray would never leave him.<p>

The moment he saw the figure huddled in a corner, he hurried over, immensely relieved.  
>When he noticed that Gray was unhealthily pale, his heart clenched with worry for a split second but he ignored it. Gray's problems could be dealt with later. He was sure that Gray would forgive his inconsideration. Because Gray always did.<p>

"Gray, where were you?" He asked accusingly. "I've been looking all over for you."

_So you noticed that I wasn't beside you when you woke up._ Oddly, Gray felt just a bit better.

"I... noticed something. Natsu, I think we..."

Natsu cut him off. "Let's fuck."

Gray's eyes widened. "What?"

"Now. Please. I'm begging you, Gray."

Gray clenched his fist tightly. "I'm tired."

"It's too early to be tired. Please Gray, I need this. You're the only one that can do this for me."

"Fine." Gray paused. "But if we're fucking, we're fucking here."

"Here? What the hell, Gray?"

Gray took a deep breath and stood up. He wrapped his arms around Natsu and whispered in his ear, "Yes, right here, right now. Fuck me. Mark me for the world to see. Let everyone know that I am yours."

He withdrew. "I will always be yours." Then his eyes darkened for a second, "Even if you do not belong to me."

Natsu paid no heed to the last sentence. "You want it now? In the guild? In front of everyone?" He grinned. "Then don't complain when everyone sees you moaning like a bitch in heat."

With an animalistic growl, the dragon slayer tackled the ice Mage to the floor.

_You finally smiled_. _Did Lucy's rejection affect you to that extent?_

Natsu skipped foreplay, simply ridding them both of their clothing at high-speed and spreading Gray's legs as wide as they could go.

Gray could hear the uncomfortable exclaims of the guild members around them, but he ignored them. Soon, he heard shuffling of footsteps leaving the guild, the people complaining all the way. He didn't care. He wouldn't even care if they stayed and watched.

When Natsu plunged deep inside him at one go, Gray could feel nothing but pain. Despite so, he urged his lover to go faster, deeper.

Gray etched the pain into his memory.

The pain slowly faded into pleasure. And Gray could do nothing but howl Natsu's name to the high heavens as he was fucked hard and raw.

Their climaxes came fast. Gray shut his eyes and did his best to remember the feeling of Natsu's come filling his insides. _This would be the last time._

Then Natsu pulled out and collapsed on top of him. A gentle hand lifted his chin.

"Why... Are you crying, Gray?" Natsu panted. "Was I too rough?"

_He cares. He cares he cares he cares_.

Gray buried his face into Natsu's chest.

"I'm sorry."

Confused, Natsu asked, "What? Why?"

"I can't."

Gray let his tears flow as proof of his failure.

_I just can't. I can't let you go._

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><p><em><strong>I'm sorry if the characters appear too OOC. It was necessary and will be explained in future chapters. Please leave a review! ;)<strong>_

_**-Dreams**_


	3. Chapter 2 - Breaking Point

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), NaLu, LyoRay, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for smut.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 2 - Breaking Point<em>**

It was killing him. Twisting a knife slowly and agonizingly long after the initial stab, cruelly pouring salt onto the gaping wound.

It was murdering his pride, and his whole being.

But still he stayed. Because to have his beloved by his side, there was no other path to walk on.

So even as he was sliced with rejection and scorched by the obvious lies, he did nothing but hold up his icy shield, separating himself from the truth.

Yes, he supposed he was what could be called a 'coward.'

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><p>"Flame Br-" Gray didn't know why, but the term of endearment was unable to make it past his lips. It hurt too much. "Natsu."<p>

"Yeah?"

"Can you take out the trash for me? I'm exhausted."

"Sure."

Gray chewed on his bottom lip. This was it. He had thrown all the contents of the Anniversary Supper he had prepared beforehand yesterday into the bin. Including the incredibly out-of-place large red cake with icy frosting and the words "1st year - N&G" on top. There was no way Natsu would miss it.

This would all go to show how much Natsu cared. Gray refused to believe that Natsu didn't care at all, it wasn't possible. Perhaps he loved Lucy more, but surely he still saved some love for Gray. Gray was the one in an official relationship with him, after all.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when his boyfriend returned, dusting his hands on his pants.

Gray waited with bated breath. He waited for the apology sure to come and the way the other was going to make it up for him. He waited.

"There's something I need to tell you, Gray."

That's it. Continue. Then he would surely lower his head and say sorry in that adorable way he always did.

True enough, Natsu lowered his head. "I..."

"I'm going out today, Gray."

_What?_

Natsu never left after they made love. No matter what the occasion, the pink haired teen always stayed back and looked after him lovingly. So why today? What was different?

"We could use some jewels. I'm going on a mission."

Gray finally found his voice. "With who?"

Natsu's eyes were still cast towards the ground. "You know, the usual."

_Why do you look so guilty? Why do you avoid mentioning her name?_

"I see. Go ahead." Somehow he mustered up a smile. "Go kick some bastard's ass for me."

The dragon slayer finally lifted his head, looking relieved. "Okay. I'm leaving in an hour."

Gray shook his head. "Leave now."

Natsu looked surprised, but he did not question Gray.

"Ittekimasu."

Gray felt like crying. "Itterasshai."

When Natsu turned to leave, Gray changed his mind. He stood up quickly, his hand outstretched, his lips forming a word. However, he was unable to do so. Pain flared in his hips and lower back, and his legs gave out. He collapsed on the floor unceremoniously. As he watched Natsu going both farther and further away from him, he choked out, "Stay..."  
>Gray Fullbuster was a fool. He knew the answers to all of his questions. It all came down to but one fact.<p>

Lucy mattered to Natsu Dragneel way more than Gray ever could.

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><p>"A mission? Natsu, I don't think this is a good idea, especially not now." Lucy frowned in disapproval.<p>

"Happy will be there. It's not like we'll be alone. Come on, Lucy! It's been ages since we went on a mission together. Just our mini team, the good old days. Don't you miss those days?"

"... All right. But no funny business, promise?"

Natsu grinned widely. "Promise!"

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><p>They ended up alone. They ended up together.<p>

And while the dragon slayer hugged the one he loved, inhaling her scent, feeling like the happiest person in the world ; a certain ice Mage hugged his unfaithful lover's pillow, inhaling his scent, feeling like the loneliest person in the world.

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><p>Once. Twice. It happened again and again. Natsu was addicted.<p>

Once, twice. Again and again, Gray turned a blind eye and when it came down to it, a deaf ear. He played ignorant.

Natsu was too important for him to lose.

Even though he knew that their relationship was doomed to end, he still held on by a thin, fragile thread.

Never once did he contemplate letting go. The idea of breaking up with Natsu never so much as crossed his mind.

Never once did he start doubting himself, until the signs became more and more obvious.

When he saw Lucy's lipstick on Natsu's collar, he put up his shield.

When Natsu told him that he would be staying over at Lucy's, he covered his ears.

When Natsu started going on missions with Lucy alone, he shut his eyes.

But the moment he saw a hickey on Natsu's neck, plain as day, he couldn't take it anymore.

Natsu didn't cover it up. Not even in front of him.

Why was he no longer trying his hardest to hide the signs of his affair? Why was he parading his hickey for the world to see when he knew, no, when _Gray_ would know it didn't come from him? For that matter, he hadn't even touched Gray for three weeks. Did he really think that Gray was dense enough to not notice? Or...

_Did their relationship matter so little to him?_

It was a scary thought.

Still, Gray's ice shield stood strong. He couldn't afford to break down.

"Gray, I have to - "

"Go out with Lucy today, right?" Gray interrupted. "Seriously, you guys are practically joined at the hip. You should just break up with me and start dating her."

Gray didn't mean it.

Natsu shook his head immediately, as if the idea terrified him. "I'll never break up with you, Gray. You know that."

Gray found the words contradictory to his actions. He stayed silent.

"I love you, Gray."

Gray turned his head to the side, screaming internally.

Why? Gray knew that the words weren't true, but why? He still believed it the moment he heard them. WHY? Why was Gray so weak?

"Gray?"

Gray almost laughed. Natsu actually looked concerned, he should audition to be an actor.

_Look at how much you've ruined me, Natsu Dragneel._

"It's nothing. Just go." Gray kept his face neutral.

Natsu shook his head again. "No, you misunderstood. I wanted to tell you to meet up with me tonight." He smiled. "At the usual spot. It's been a while."

Gray inhaled deeply. Yes, it had been a while. Funny considering Gray lived with Natsu and slept next to him. Although Natsu was seldom home anymore.

It was as if the day Gray moved in, Natsu moved out.

The house didn't feel like home anymore.

"Deal."

Night fell. Gray waited nervously underneath the Sakura tree.

He couldn't keep the smile off his face. This was stupid.

He shouldn't be so illogically happy just because the idiot remembered his birthday.  
>This didn't make sense, in the same way it didn't that Gray wasn't mad at Natsu for cheating, just upset and disappointed.<p>

He waited. Perhaps for this special day, Natsu would give him a nice surprise. His face reddened when he remembered the 'present' Natsu had given him the year before.  
>He never pegged Natsu as the kinky type, so imagine his surprise when Natsu presented him with all kinds of sex toys. Even though they were alone, Gray couldn't shake off the embarrassment.<p>

He hadn't been able to walk for a week.

Gray shook his head hard, ridding himself of the memory.

Suddenly he thought of another possibility, and sweat trickled down his forehead.

It couldn't be.

There was absolutely no way that Natsu would choose his birthday to break up with him. Right?

No.

Thinking was dangerous. Gray decided to stop thinking and simply wait.

He waited and waited, but strangely...

Natsu never showed up.

Gray finally gave up. He wandered around town without a destination in mind, and somehow he ended up on his way to the riverbank.

And what he saw had him halting abruptly in his tracks.

Pink hair. Blonde hair. A kiss.

Natsu was kissing Lucy, with passion he had never kissed Gray with.

Natsu was kissing another person. At the riverbank. The sacred spot that belonged to _them_.

Gray couldn't move. He could only stare as the kisses turned into a make out session. He lifted a hand to cover his mouth. Even though he already knew about the affair, seeing it right upfront was MUCH harder.

Gray left immediately after that. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't think. He needed company. He couldn't be alone that day, he just couldn't.

So he called Lyon out for a drink.

He did so fully knowing that Lyon liked him and the night would end with him in Lyon's arms.


	4. Chapter 3 - The Last Straw

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, NaLu, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

**_I thank everyone who reviewed, followed or favorited. I would never have the motivation to write if it weren't for you guys._**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 3 - The Last Straw<strong>_

"I.. I don't want this." Gray's words were muffled by a passionate, feverish kiss. Hands were gliding all over his body in a possessive manner, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't getting aroused. Heaven knows how long it's been since he was touched like this.

Like he mattered to someone.

He returned the kiss with equal fervor, and slid his hands into silver hair. They kissed like there was no tomorrow, their tongues battling for dominance that wasn't really that important.

As for Lyon, all he cared about was that he had the man he loved in his arms once again. Willingly. (Despite his protests)

It had been too long.

They finally pulled away, a string of saliva connecting their mouths. Lyon rested his head gently on Gray's, and tried to smirk triumphantly. Somehow, all he could muster up was a happy, contented smile.

"What are you talking about? Come on, admit it. You want this." He taunted softly.

Gray let out a little laugh, and Lyon felt like he was in heaven.

"I don't want this, Lyon, you idiot." Gray pecked him on the lips unsuspectedly. "I need this."

* * *

><p>Lyon knew that something was wrong the moment he saw Gray's face. They sat down at the bar, and to his utmost surprise, Gray ordered two glasses of cold water. At his stumped expression, the black-haired teen tried to smile but failed, sneering instead. "What? Did you think I called you out to get drunk? I'm not that stupid, Lyon."<p>

The elder man immediately became as rigid as an ice sculpture. "I told you I'm sorry about what happened then."

Gray swirled his drink with his fingers and added a few blocks of ice. "Doesn't change the fact that you took me against my will."

Lyon's face darkened. "That's a low blow. I didn't rape you and you know it."

"You were drunk enough."

"I was completely in control. I fucked you and you begged for more. Nothing more, nothing less."

Gray winced. "Ouch."

"Don't pretend to be hurt when you said those words just to spite me. Spit it out, Gray. You didn't come all the way to the other side of Magnolia just to call me a rapist."

"Ouch ouch."

Agitated, Lyon complained, "Like I said," he promptly shut up when he saw the look on the other's face.

Gray's lower lip was trembling, and he looked up at Lyon through his dark bangs. His eyes shimmered with tears about to break free. "Ouch, Lyon..."

The elder disciple pulled his junior into his arms. "Gosh, Gray. Who hurt you? Why are you in pain?"

Gray sniffed. "Don't remind me. Natsu's in love with Lucy."

"What? Salamander and the Blondie?"

"Yeah..."

"So he broke up with you?" Lyon knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help feeling elated at the news.

Gray shook his head.

"No? Then you broke up with him?" Lyon asked. "Good for you."

"Nope." Gray was shivering. "I didn't." A soft sob escaped his lips. "I'm so pathetic, Lyon! I caught them kissing at the riverside. The damn riverside of all places! That was _our_ special spot! How could that asshole just bring some other girl there and casually make out with her?!"

Lyon rubbed soothing circles into Gray's back, trying to calm and comfort him. He let Gray continue.

"But... It's not just some girl. It's _Lucy_. Lucy who he would put everything on the line for. I should have noticed sooner. Natsu once cried like a baby just because he thought Lucy was going to leave Fairy Tail. It hasn't been Nakama since the very beginning. And me?" Gray struggled to keep himself from losing control.

He breathed in deeply, and when he spoke, his words were crystal clear. "I'm nothing. I'm just a convenient nobody that cleans his house, cooks for him and assists him on missions. I'm just there. I guess it helps that I'm a good fuck."

"Gray..."

"I'm not degrading myself or anything. I don't have low self-esteem, you of all people should know that I'm the cockiest bastard you'll ever come across. It's just the simple truth that I hid from all this time."

One might have believed that Gray really didn't care, but this was Lyon. The man who had fallen in love with Gray since they were kids. He noticed the slight tremor in Gray's shoulders instantly.

"That was brave of you, Gray." Lyon placed a soft kiss on the top of his head. "Confronting the truth, it's not something everyone can achieve."

"Like that will change anything." Gray sounded immensely tired.

"Oh, but it changes everything. Facing that, gives you courage to move on."

The younger man jerked out of the embrace. "Move on? Lyon, I love the guy!"

"But does he love you?"

Gray fidgeted, "He says it every day."

"Does he love you?" Lyon repeated sternly.

Reluctantly, Gray mumbled, "No...maybe? I don't know."

"You want him to be happy, don't you? Not like he deserves it. But he's way more happy with this Lucy girl, isn't he? Then isn't the answer obvious?"

Gray lowered his head. "I need to think."

"Whatever you do, don't over think. Thinking's dangerous, trust me on this."

Gray laughed. "You've told me that before." _And somehow I have absorbed it into my brain._

"I suppose my job here is done. You've cheered up. Just, don't torture yourself by holding on. If you don't let go, you'll be trapped forever, and will never notice the presence of other people around you that care for you very much." Lyon said the last sentence meaningfully, but Gray didn't react.

He sighed. _Unrequited love sucks_. "Do you need me to walk you home?"

"Nah. I'm going home with you."

"Huh?"

"Remember how you dragged me into a motel and fucked me raw even though I told you 'no'?"

"I told you to drop it, Gray!"

"I remember. It felt damn good. And I want an encore."

Lyon couldn't believe his ears. "Are you serious? Don't fuck with me!"

Gray shrugged, "Natsu hasn't touched me for twenty-one days. We used to fuck every day, I've become accustomed to that. A guy has needs. Plus I know that you love my body."

Lyon clicked his tongue, cursing inwardly. _Shit. I don't just love your body, dammit! Why are you doing this to me?_

He made his decision.

"Don't chicken out, Gray. Are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?"

"Come on, Lyon. Since when were you so wishy-washy?"

"Since every little thing that has to do with you!"

Both men were startled by the outburst, but silently agreed to ignore it.

Lyon suddenly grabbed Gray by the wrist and stood up, dragging him by force out of the bar. When they finally reached Lyon's house, the elder man picked the other up effortlessly and headed up the stairs. Then he proceeded to place him on the mattress and lean in for the kiss he had always longed for.

He lifted Gray's chin up gently, and whispered, "You are so beautiful."

Gray's eyes seemed to clear up for a moment. He stared at Lyon, and his lips moved. "I think... I don't want this. Shit, I'm dating Natsu. This is cheating!"

Lyon felt something shatter in his heart, but he simply narrowed his eyes. "This was your bright idea. I told you that there would be no backing out. I was serious."

"But I... I..." Having had enough, Lyon moved in to silence him with a kiss.

After Gray finally acknowledged that this was something he desired, Lyon started stripping.

Once done, he turned to the attractive man on his bed, grinning.

"Happy birthday, Gray."

* * *

><p>Gray couldn't look Natsu in the eye. He felt guilty as hell. Just because Natsu was a cheater didn't mean that he could do the same. He felt sick.<p>

He knew Lyon loved him, he had always known. And he had exploited that fact yesterday. In short, he used the one person who loved him unconditionally. In the morning, he had avoided Lyon like the plague, leaving before the man even woke up. What a sorry excuse of a human being he was.

And now, sitting in front of his boyfriend, he carefully tested the waters. Natsu didn't look mad. That was weird.

"About last night..."

Natsu's eyes immediately furrowed. _Here it comes._

"Yeah, about that."

Gray swallowed nervously.

"I'm sorry," Natsu muttered.

Gray was stupefied. "Huh?"

"I didn't show up. I had things to do."

"Oh, that. That's fine, I meant that last night..."

Natsu frowned. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I don't have to report where I am to you twenty-four hours of the day!"

Gray stared at him until the dots slowly connected in his head.

_Natsu never noticed his absence. Because Natsu had not returned home last night._

He shook his head, nearly in denial. Natsu had spent the night at Lucy's, no doubt. Normally Gray would be able to ignore it, but yesterday had been his _birthday_. The one day of the whole damn year that was important.

That was the last straw.

* * *

><p><em><strong>reviews = faster updates ;)<strong>_

_**I wanted to put the LyoRay smut in, but it didn't feel right. Now is not the right time. The Angst should be coming up soon (grins evilly). **_

_**- Dreams**_

**Anon replies :**

**Jezell : Thank you for reviewing and hope you enjoyed these new chapters :)**

**OMG : Gray didn't exactly dump him, but Lyon _did _sweep Gray into his arms ;)**

**Jambob1998 : I feel bad for making Natsu out as some kind of jerk, but the guy is in love. He can't help it. Not that it excuses his actions though. He's going to get heartbroken after a few chapters **


	5. Chapter 4 - No Turning Back

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, NaLu, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 4 - No Turning Back<em>**

One week passed.

Gray hasn't shown up in the guild since. He hadn't been at home either, but it's not like Natsu would know. He only returned home for food and clothes, plus he always made sure Gray wouldn't be home when he was. He knew that avoidance just made him appear more guilty, but he couldn't help it. He just couldn't deal with Gray when he had his hands full with Lucy. Lucy was everything to him, and he could only hope that Loke spent more time sulking in the Spirit World. After all, if the Lion sulked for one day, Natsu would gain three months with Lucy.

Natsu did feel a bit mean. Gray didn't deserve this and he was well aware. He could have broken up with Gray when he had the chance, but he couldn't bring himself to do so and he didn't know why. Perhaps it was because Gray had been through enough in his life. Yes, that should be it.

Gray is an okay person, Natsu acknowledges (never out loud, of course). He may be petty over little things like who won their last fight or who stole his pants (the culprit was Natsu 99% of the time), but when it came to things that really mattered, he was surprisingly forgiving.

One particular incident had scared Natsu to bits. Gray had showed him a picture of Ur together with Lyon and he. It looked like a family portrait. Natsu had decided that he was jealous and pretended to burn the photo. Except he actually burned it to ashes. He didn't mean it, and when he saw Gray's horrified and hurt expression he nearly kicked himself.

Gray had forgiven him. Sure, he ordered Natsu to 'disappear from his sight' for a whole week, but he forgave him eventually.

Which comes back to the reason Natsu can't break it to Gray that he was cheating on him, with one of the members of their team no less. He understood that the knowledge would break him. Because he also knew that despite his appearance, Gray had a fragile heart.

_Sometimes Natsu wished that he loved Gray_.

Because Gray was all in all, pretty awesome. Selfless, brave and heroic. Sensitive, gentle (sometimes) and caring. But most of all, Gray was loving (even though he denied it vehemently).

Natsu wasn't a jerk to play around with someone's feelings, let alone the feelings of a close Nakama. So why did he accept Gray's proposal of a relationship when he harbored no romantic feelings for him?

Because yet again, Natsu knew. Natsu knows Gray like the back of his hand. To be honest, how could he not have noticed when Gray made so many slip-ups?

Like the time Gray told him not to die during the Erigor case. And the time he got unbelievably mad when he found out that Natsu had been consumed by Fukuro. There were many moments that betrayed Gray's true feelings, but each time, Natsu pretended not to hear. He found it kind of cute, but thinking of his long time rival as cute was awfully weird so he ignored it.

He couldn't hurt Gray by rejecting him. Even though at the moment, he wonders if it would be better had he done so then instead of being an unfaithful bastard and cheating on him now.

So Natsu told him every day that he loved him. Because he wished that if he said it enough, he might actually come to love him. It would make things so much easier.

Of course, that was before Lucy broke up with Loke. Because no matter how much Natsu cares about Gray, Lucy always comes first.

Now... Now Natsu was just running away.

* * *

><p>Lyon began showing up at the guild every day, looking worried. Natsu had asked him for a duel (since he never got the chance to kick his ass and prove to Gray that he was stronger), but Lyon had blatantly ignored him and asked for Gray. With each passing day, the snowy haired man looked more and more distressed. Natsu heard him mention that Gray was avoiding him, and he wondered what happened between them.<p>

Not that it mattered, Gray's business was his own. Natsu has to go on more missions with Lucy anyway, she was short on rent again.

Meanwhile, Gray was running away from the world.

Gray had wandered around town a bit, and returned to his old house during the night. It turned out that the new owner merely bought his house to rent it out, so ironically, Gray rented his own house.

He had no home. His old house was renovated, and the place he shared with Natsu was simply a place to live. He found familiarity and comfort nowhere.

Having no home reminded him of his childhood, of his travels with Ur and Lyon.

Speaking of Lyon, he hoped Lyon didn't assume that he was ignoring or hiding from him or anything stupid like that. He just needed some time alone.

He finally sorted things out. He was going to make the most difficult decision of his life.  
>However, he would give Natsu one last chance. Thus on that fateful day, he headed to the guild and sought him out.<p>

"I'm leaving today on an S class mission with Lyon for two weeks." Gray gauged Natsu's expression.

Natsu did his best to keep the grin from splitting across his face. Finally! Time alone with Lucy, without having to hide, and two weeks at that!

"I see."

"...Do you want to come? We could use your help."

"No, you go. I'm sure you need some alone time with Lyon. It's been a while since you talked, you guys should make up."

Gray cast his eyes towards the ground. "Okay. Do you want to know where we're going?"

Natsu dismissed him, "Not really."

Desperate, Gray asked again, "This mission is important to me. I want to go with you, just the two of us. Can we?"

"I can't, Gray. I promised Lucy to help her with a minor mission tomorrow. I don't break promises, remember?"

"Of course you don't." Gray laughed lowly. "Hey, Flame brain?"

Already impatient to leave and tell Lucy the good news, Natsu replied irritatedly, "What?"

"Can you tell me you love me again?"

"Of course I do, idiot." Natsu said hastily.

"Just those three words."

"You're being awfully bothersome today, Gray..."

Natsu took a deep breath, hoping that he looked convincing, and answered, "I love you."

Gray smiled. Natsu hadn't looked convincing at all. But he would treasure those three words to the end of time.

"I love you too."_ And this is the last time I'll say these words to you._

Honestly, Gray hadn't given up yet. So he had tried to reevaluate his importance, but had been severely disappointed.

This was it.

There would be no turning back.

* * *

><p>"Umm... Hi."<p>

The ice mages stared awkwardly at each other in silence. Gray shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"So... You wanna go on a mission?"

Lyon blinked. "A mission?"

"Yeah. A joint mission. Together. S class and shit."

"If I don't?"

"Then I'll drag you with me since I already told the others that I'm going with you." Gray answered honestly.

Lyon frowned, "How democratic of you," he remarked sarcastically.

"I'm counting on you, Lyon."

The elder ice Mage sighed in defeat. "Fine, just give me some time to pack. Come in."

* * *

><p>Natsu never even noticed that Gray had packed all his clothes and belongings. He never noticed that Gray didn't just pack for a short mission. No, Gray had <em>moved out.<em>

But he didn't know.

He didn't notice that Gray didn't return after two weeks.

Two weeks became three, and three weeks became four.

Even after three months, he never saw the letter that Gray left on his bedside table.

He was busy.

He was busy holding her hand.

He was busy kissing her lips.

He was busy earning rent money with her.

Yes, he had been very busy.

_He was too busy making love with Lucy on the bed that Gray had once slept in._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Long chapter coming up. Please review, reviews (plus follows and favorites) are such motivation<strong>__** ;)**_

_**- Dreams**_

**Replies to Anons ~**

**SomeRandomAnon : Wait you love LyoRay? You don't see that everyday, I'm so glad that we LyoRay fans have united! (tears of joy)**

**Drewfullbuster : Thank you! :3**

**vanessa : I'm flattered, thanks! **


	6. Chapter 5 - Running Away

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, NaLu, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for smut.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 5 - Running Away<em>**

_-Three Months Ago-_

Gray got to work silently, packing all his belongings into a suitcase. Not that he had much to do, he didn't really own much. When he had stepped into Fairy Tail for the first time after Ur sealed Deliora, all he had with him was his cross necklace and a crumpled photo of his teacher and his elder disciple. And thanks to his idiot boyfr_- _**EX**_-_boyfriend, that photo was no more.

Once done, he began opening drawers and closets, double-checking to make sure he didn't leave anything behind. He wanted to have a clean break, a thorough ending.

He wanted it to look like he had never moved in.

To be more precise, he wanted it to seem like they had never been together. As if their 'we' had never existed.

He would prolong their suffering no more.

"If we can't go back to the way we were, then we'll go back even further. Back to the time we were just close friends, nothing more."

That was what he thought.

He had his mind set, but carrying it out was harder than it seemed. However, like he decided before, there would be no turning back.

After picking up a stray shirt or two, he went as far as to sweep out the contents under their - **Natsu's** bed.

_Just how did his underwear get there - wait._

Gray stared at cardboard box labelled 'For Gray'.

Cautious but curious, he opened it. Then he proceeded to blush as red as a tomato.  
>All the sex toys Natsu had bought for him last year were there. The dildo, rope, wax, handcuffs, buttplug, anal beads and even the fucking <em>nipple clamps <em>were there, among others.

He shut the box quickly and threw it out the window without a second thought.

"Like hell I'm taking that with me!"

The black-haired teen wiped his brow and zipped up his suitcase. That was everything. Then he caught sight of the photo frame on the bedside table.

He wanted to smile and feel nostalgic, but instead all he could feel was overwhelming sadness.

It was the one and only photo they had taken. Or rather, the only portrait Reedus drew that only consisted of the two of them.

That day, Gray had protected Natsu by conjuring up three humongous ice ramparts, subsequently wearing himself out. Natsu, being the good boyfriend that he was, had carried Gray home on his back, teasing him all the way.

They were happily in love back then.

Or at the very least, _Gray_ had been.

Looking at the picture, Gray's shoulders began to shake uncontrollably, but he willed the tears back. He would shed no more tears for this man.

However, waves of memories kept on invading his brain.

Memories of Natsu saying he loved him kept coming back.

The day Gray confessed, and Natsu wrapped his arms around him in a heartwarming embrace. The first time they intertwined their fingers. Their embarrassing but sweet first kiss. Their first date. Their first night together as a couple. The first time they made love. And the first time Gray woke up in his arms, feeling warm and safe.

Gray believed all of it.

He believed every word, every moment, every touch.

I believed your _lies_.  
>Every <em>smile<em> was a lie.  
>Every <em>word<em> was a lie.  
>Every <em>touch<em> was a lie.  
><em>Everything was a complete lie.<em>

_I was foolish to ever believe you when you said that our love was eternal.  
>You never even loved me<em>.

Gray toyed with the metal ring on his thumb, admiring the flame symbol that bound him to Natsu. It was stupid and sappy, but they had actually got couple rings together. Gray wore this one, and Natsu wore another one that had the symbol of ice on it. It symbolized that they were bound to each other, protected each other and belonged to each other.

In short, it was meaningless now.

Gray took the ring off and placed it beside the photo frame.

"I'd love to take it with me, but that would mean taking some of you with me." Gray uttered the words softly. "I would never be able to truly let go if I did that."

Lastly, he carefully folded a piece of paper into an envelope and put it onto the table. All set.

Leaving without confronting Natsu was a cowardly thing to do, but Gray never said that he wasn't one. Plus, Natsu would probably appreciate his silent departure over him throwing a fit.

"I won't miss you." Gray declared firmly, but he couldn't even convince himself.

Gray didn't find it hard to leave the house. He hadn't had the chance to build up any memories there. So he heaved his suitcase over his shoulder and headed to Lamia Scale without a second glance backwards.

* * *

><p>"By the way, I'm moving in with you."<p>

Trying to look displeased, Lyon scolded, "Stop deciding everything by yourself, bastard."

"Sorry. But you're the only one I can go to right now, Lyon." Gray looked guilty.

As well he should be. Lyon wasn't a fool, he knew that he was being used. Gray was selfishly using him to run away from Natsu, and Lyon was letting him do so.

Ah, perhaps that made him a fool. A fool in love.

"Whatever." Lyon finished packing and turned back to his younger disciple, asking, "Which mission are we going on?"

"Er..."

Lyon rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll choose. We're going to Isvan."

Gray's eyes widened. "Isvan? Lyon, no!"

"I saw the request on Lamia's request board yesterday. S class. Should be able to kill some time."

Gray argued, "That's not the issue. You know that I can't go back to Isvan!"

"Why are you so determined to avoid your past, Gray?"

"I..."

Seeing Gray's troubled expression, Lyon sighed. "Okay. We'll go on some other mission."

Gray said softly, "Thanks."

Lyon smiled. "Don't mention it. Now, let's set one thing straight."

The younger Mage cocked his head to the side. "What?"

"Even if you're just running away, understand that I don't do lazy missions without concentration. If we're gonna do this then we'll do this right. You are not going to pull either mine or Lamia Scale's reputation down the drain."

Gray nodded seriously. "That's a given."

Lyon held out his fist, "Let's be the badass partners from different guilds!"

Gray punched it lightly with his own, "Deal. Let's become famous!"

They grinned, and suddenly Gray didn't feel so lonely anymore.

* * *

><p><em>- Three months later -<em>

"Ne, Natsu?"

Natsu hummed, burying his face into Lucy's long blonde locks. "Hmm?"

"I haven't seen Gray for a while..."

Natsu didn't open his eyes. "Gray? Who's that?"

Lucy hit him with her pillow. "I'm being serious here!"

The pink haired teen cracked an eye open. "What about him?"

"Didn't he say that he was going on a two-week-mission?"

Natsu confirmed, "Yeah."

"Well, it's been two weeks, Natsu. Six fortnights, to be exact. Why hasn't he returned? I'm worried."

"Has it been that long?" Natsu scrunched his eyebrows, thinking. "He should be fine, Lyon's with him. That guy's stronger than I'd like to admit."

"If you say so..."

Despite what Natsu said, he was worried. He just didn't take action because he believed in Gray. He believed in his strength and his wit.

He trusted him to return safely. He trusted Gray so blindly that he never thought of searching for him.

But Lucy was right. What mission takes three months?

Lucy was always right.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Sorcerer Weekly is out! Look at Mirajane's gravure, she's beautiful as always!"<p>

Natsu trudged on, not particularly interested.

"Hah! Fairy Tail's Salamander's out for destruction again! Gosh, it's like we pay them to destroy stuff, ugh."

The dragon slayer whirled around instantly. He was about to give the person a piece of his mind and an ass-kicking when another girl said something that caught his attention.

"Forget Salamander, look at this! It's the Ice Brothers!"

_Ice? Could it be you?_

"These guys are real professionals. Twenty missions, all of them S class, done in merely three months!" The guy before commented, admiration in his voice.

_You went on an S class mission, didn't you?_

"Plus they're so hot!"

_Please let this be you._

"Hot? They're Ice Make Mages, Nelly."

_I think I miss you._

"Look, Tes. It says here that they've returned to Magnolia."

_You're back?!_

"The Younger Brother lived here, after all. You know, Gray Fullbuster."

_Lived? What's with the past tense?_

"Of course I know! He used to leave his clothes all over the place. Actually, they both have reputations of stripping. I dunno if it's true, but it's said that they do simultaneous stripping. Gosh, I ship them so hard, Tes!"

"Nelly... They're brothers."

"Not related by blood. I checked. Come on, you can't look at each other every day, work together, have each other's backs and trust each other like that without falling in love! Plus _simultaneous stripping_!"

Tes ruffled Nelly's hair. "Hai, hai."

Natsu stood still, the words ringing in his head.

He ignored the last part. Like Gray would cheat on him with Lyon, that's absurd. Gray loved him too much.

What's important was that _Gray was back._

Gray would finally be returning home. Heck, he might be waiting at home for him! Natsu couldn't stop smiling.

All colour suddenly drained from his face when he remembered a tiny detail.

_Lucy was in his house._

Natsu broke into a run.

_No. No. No. Please don't let him see her._

Out of breath, he finally reached home. He yanked open the door and hurried in, yelling, "Gray!"

"Natsu?"

It wasn't Gray. And for once seeing Lucy did nothing to lift his spirits.

"Lucy! Right, leave now, Lucy!"

"Huh?"

"Just get out of here!"

The gears in Lucy's head began to turn. "Gray's back?"

Natsu nodded fervently. "Any moment."

_How wrong he was._

Lucy smiled sincerely. "Thank goodness! I was seriously getting worried. I'm glad."

Natsu couldn't help but grin, "I missed the bastard. Now if you'll just hurry up..."

Lucy laughed and picked up her bag. "Of course."

After Lucy left, Natsu sped around the house, getting rid of all the evidence that pointed to his affair. Gray was sharp, he had to be really thorough.

Something felt off as he threw some of Lucy's clothes and lingerie out, but he couldn't pinpoint what. He dismissed the bad feeling, focusing on his task. He couldn't even imagine what to do if Gray found out he had cheated, the idea sickened him to the core. He worked hard, a smile never leaving his face.

_Gray was coming home._

When he was finally done, he sat down on the couch and waited.

_Three months, damn! Time sure flies._

He waited and waited, but... Gray never showed up.

Fidgeting, he decided to check if there was anything he hadn't cleaned out. He headed to the bedroom first, since it was the most important crime scene.

That was when he saw an envelope lying innocently on his bedside table.

_Was Lucy writing to her mom again?_

Curious and disrespecting privacy like he always did, he opened the envelope.

He was greeted by neat, familiar handwriting.

_Gray! When in the world?_

He quickly read the letter, and his blood ran cold.

_"Natsu,_

_I suppose now is a good time to come clean with you._

_I fell in love with your honesty and straight-forwardness. I fell in love with your bravery and your awkward kindness. I fell in love with your voice and your smile. I fell in love with YOU. Your personality, your looks, your body, your good points, your flaws, your past, I love them all._

_I loved you enough to look past the fact that you did not love me._

_Falling in love with you, was the worst mistake I have ever made._

_So thank you for humoring me and letting me love you. Thank you, and goodbye. I love you so much, but I don't think I'm strong enough to hold on anymore. So I'm letting you go. You're free now. Free of the burden known as Gray Fullbuster. I wish you all the best, Natsu Dragneel._

_Maybe one day we'll meet again when we're different people. Maybe then we'll be better for each other._

_Maybe not._

_Your ex-boyfriend, Gray."_

_**NO. NO NO NO NO NO. This couldn't be. Gray broke up with me? Since when?**_

He flipped the piece of paper over and noticed the date, a week after Gray's birthday. Shit, _Gray's birthday. _It had completely slipped his mind. That couldn't be the reason, could it? Gray wasn't that small-minded.

"That long? Impossible, all his belongings are still here..." _Hold on._

_No._

This was what felt off just now.

_Gray's stuff were nowhere to be seen._

"You... Can't be serious..." Natsu's heart contracted painfully.

"Is this the only letter?" He frantically returned his gaze to the table, and was pierced once again by freezing icicles.

_Gray's ring_. It was lying on the table, beside their photo.

"You really... mean this..."

Natsu gazed at the ring on his own ring finger, staring at the ice design.

The rings bound him to Gray and vice-versa.

_Is that what you meant when you said you were setting me free?_

_Did you know? _

_Have you known all along that I didn't return your feelings? Is that why?_

Natsu took off his Ice Ring and placed it beside Gray's Flame Ring.

_Right. Why am I this shaken? I'm free._

_I love Lucy, not you. I should be happy that I escaped confrontation. Right?_

_So why? Why am I hurting so? Why is the idea of you moving out, you **leaving me** so unbearable?_

* * *

><p><em><strong>I was surprised at the sudden increase in reviews, but man was that a wonderful surprise! Knowing that people read and appreciate what I write just makes me so happy, thank you!<strong>_

_**-Dreams**_


	7. Chapter 6 - Confusion

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, NaLu, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 6 - Confusion<em>**

Lucy stroked Natsu's unruly pink hair as he slept, her mind elsewhere. Leo's celestial spirit key seemed to be biting into her skin, signaling Loke's rage.

She was waiting. All this time, she had been waiting for Loke to summon himself in a flash of light and take her in a burst of royal fury.

She had a plan, but it backfired. No matter how far her relationship with Natsu went, Loke never showed up. Perhaps the idea had been stupid from the beginning. Triggering a lion's jealousy, really? Lions have tons of mates, and similarly, Loke was a playboy. No matter how frequently he had professed his love for her in the past, his absence now proved that he didn't really care all that much.

Either way, it was too late to back down. Once she started using Natsu, there was no guarantee of safe return. She was tired. How much longer should she continue this farce?

One might wonder, how did Lucy come up with such a plan in the first place when it wasn't in her nature to deliberately hurt anyone, let alone a close friend?

The answer was simple - because it hadn't been a plan then. It had just been pure spite. She hadn't wanted to get back with Loke at all.

It was sick and wrong, but she felt a strong feeling of achievement knowing that even if she broke up with Magnolia's most wanted man, Magnolia's strongest Mage would still want her. She didn't want to appear to be disposable or dispensable. Due to Loke's reputation, she had heard rumors of her being dumped instead of the other way round, and it damaged her ego. Thus she avoided using Leo's celestial key and started hanging out with Natsu.

She was never the one to suggest their meetings. All she had done was accept. So she was not completely to blame, that was what she told herself to soothe the horrible guilt.

Slowly, she realized that while there was no doubt that she felt guilty for going behind Gray's back, what actually made her feel like the worst person in the world was being with someone else, someone who wasn't _Loke_.

She hadn't been lying when she said she still loved Loke. She never stopped loving him. She just went through a weird phase that made her believe that they weren't compatible, that they were better off as Master and Spirit, nothing more.

She was wrong. Every time she kissed Natsu, all she could think of was _Loke, Loke, Loke._

Then she realized that doing so may reignite the flame that was missing from their relationship then. They had been tiring each other out due to the time difference and the lion's need to see her every second of the day, but this, this affair (even though they were clearly on a break) just might serve as a reminder to him that they weren't over. That as soon as Loke took the first step, Lucy would welcome him with open arms.

But Loke did not take the first step.

And everything spiraled out of control.

Lucy had always been praised for being smart and observant. Naturally she noticed.  
>Natsu's eyes were no longer focused on her.<p>

Since Gray's return to Magnolia, Natsu had clung to her side like a child to his mother, using her to shield himself.

He kissed her and touched her, but his heart was no longer in it.

Was Lucy using Natsu, or was Natsu using Lucy?

She didn't know.

* * *

><p>"Lyon, stop it... Mmph..." Gray struggled against his elder disciple, trying to put a stop to his advances.<p>

"Stop... Aaaaah!" Letting out a pleasure-filled moan, Gray's cheeks quickly flushed a fierce shade of red.

Lyon released the nipple he was sucking and biting on and smirked. "I don't think you want me to."

Strong fingers cupped the black-haired male's butt cheeks and began squeezing and caressing it sensually, causing him to shiver, putty in the other's arms.

"You're so damn lewd, Gray." Lyon's tongue flicked over the shell of Gray's ear. "Seriously? Strutting your junk around for the world to see every day? It's like an open invitation."

Gray didn't reply.

His eyes narrowing for a millisecond, Lyon pulled the naked body closer to him and kicked the long legs apart.

A slicked finger slid into Gray's entrance, and he gasped at the intrusion.

Lyon whispered into his younger disciple's ear, "No stripping tomorrow." Then he proceeded to bite down on Gray's neck, marking the otherwise unblemished skin.

Gray was holding it in, but he couldn't hold back the soft pleasured sigh when the teeth cut into his skin. Yes, that was the feeling. Being marked, becoming somebody's possession. Natsu used to do it all the time -

His eyes widened. With a hard shove, he pushed Lyon off him and grabbed the blankets around him, covering himself.

"Gray?" Lyon asked tentatively, his voice laced with concern but his eyes portraying hurt.

Gray couldn't meet his eyes. He didn't want to see the disappointment.

"I said no."

That was bullshit and they both knew it. Gray _always_ said no in the beginning, but he never meant it.

After a long pause, Gray added, "I'm sorry."

Lyon stared at him, his expression unreadable. Then he walked closer.

"Get rid of that stupid blanket."

"Lyon-"

Before he could finish his sentence, the covers were ripped away, leaving him bare, naked for the other to see. Somewhat upset, he protested indignantly, "Listen to me-"

A gentle hand caressed his face.

Lyon spoke softly, "Lift your arms, okay?"

His mind blank, Gray obeyed. His dark blue undershirt was slipped on with ease.

"...Oh."

Lyon continued, "Now your legs."

Blushing a bit, Gray complied, and let the other put his boxers and pants on.

"... Thanks." The black-haired teen turned his head to the side. "Sorry for misunderstanding."

Lyon smiled. "Don't worry about it." Then he turned and began pacing away.

"Where are you going?" Gray called after him.

"I have a little..." Lyon scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "...condition to attend to."

His cheeks reddening with recognition, Gray got up and followed.

Visibly surprised, Lyon asked, "What are you coming for?"

"To help."

Puzzled, Lyon clarified slowly, "Um. I'm going to jack off, Gray."

Gray rolled his eyes. "How stupid do you take me for? I know that."

"So..."

"I'm not going to let you fuck me, but there are many ways to make a man come." Gray couldn't believe what he was saying. Willing his blush down, he grabbed Lyon's wrist and led him back to the bed. Once Lyon was seated comfortably, he proceeded to kneel down submissively.

"Gray, what are you...?"

Gray lifted his head and maintained eye contact. "Order me."

"Huh?"

"Order me to pleasure you. I'll do anything."

Blood was pooling to Lyon's nether regions, but he withheld himself, opting to say, "You don't have to do this for me, Gray."

Firmly, Gray told him, "I want to."

Lyon hesitated for another few seconds, then he opened his mouth, issuing an order.

"Take off my pants."

Gray immediately got to work, his hand reaching out for the zipper in front of him. However, he was stopped.

"With your mouth, Gray."

Swallowing, Gray did his best, leaning in and trying to get the zipper between his teeth. After a bit of awkward fumbling, he finally succeeded. Carefully pulling it down, he looked up at Lyon, awaiting the next order.

Lyon was silent, seeming to be in a silent debate with himself. Impatient, Gray yanked the pants down to the knees using his hands and stuck out his tongue to lick the erection straining against Lyon's boxers.

"Nngh!" Unconsciously, Lyon's hips bucked forward.

Nodding in approval, Gray pulled the boxers off and mentally prepared himself, licking his lips and opening his mouth wide.

Gazing at the man he loved staring lustfully at his penis, Lyon's control snapped.

"Ah, fuck it." He lurched forward suddenly, forcing his dick past Gray's moist lips.

"Mmmmmph!" Gray choked when the hard length hit the back of his throat. He tried to pull back, but Lyon was having none of that.

He held Gray's head in place, his fingers yanking Gray's hair painfully.

"Sorry," Lyon panted as he thrust in and out of the hot and wet cavern, "You're too sexy for your own good."

Trying hard to adjust, Gray widened his mouth as much as possible. When he choked yet again, tears sprung forth and his eyebrows furrowed.

Yet until Lyon reached his climax, he never pulled back. He didn't show any signs of how uncomfortable he was. When Lyon came, he swallowed every last drop of the semen, not letting even a drop slip past his lips. By the time he finally looked up at Lyon's eyes, panting slightly, he expected to see satisfaction.

Nothing prepared him for the coldness that pierced into his very soul.

"Lyon..."

He was cut off.

"Get out, Gray."

"Wha..."

"I said get out."

_I don't want to say or do anything to you that I might regret._

Even though he was getting awfully intimidated, the black-haired teen retaliated with all he had.

"Don't be an ungrateful bastard! In case you didn't notice, I just sucked you off!"

"Gray."

For a split second, Lyon's tone sounded like Ur's - gentle but stern, and more than enough to shut Gray up.

"Listen. I don't want you to force yourself into anything. I know you didn't feel good, I could feel your throat contracting, your gag reflex trying to make itself useful. And that's why I'm mad." Lyon paused for a bit, carefully searching for the appropriate words. "You're doing this out of guilt. I don't want that."

Gray bit the inside of his cheek. "And who are you to dictate what I do and my reasons behind it?"

"As your lover, I want us to be together because we care for each other deeply, but all you think about..." Lyon grit his teeth, spitting the name out as if it was poison. "Is _Natsu_. It's been twelve weeks, Gray. He never contacted you. Never inquired into your whereabouts. Even though we return to Magnolia frequently to accept new requests, he never made an appearance. It's high time you move on, Gray."

"That's exactly what I'm doing! Can't you see that I'm trying my damnedest to move on? Does me taking the initiative mean nothing to you?"

"This isn't moving on! Open your eyes, Gray! What you're doing has been from the start, and is still, running away! Every time I touch you intimately, you're reminded of _him_. How the fuck do you think that makes me feel? Fucking happy and appreciated?" Lyon's voice had begun to rise unconsciously, his control cracking bit by bit.

_No. Don't do this. Don't drive him away._

But he couldn't stop. It was as if his mouth had a mind of its own.

"We're lovers, Gray! I'm not some stinking substitute! Have you sunk that low?"

He regretted the words immediately, but it was too late.

Gray looked eerily calm when he spoke. "Yes. I'm the lowest of the lowest. I'm using you, can't you see that? You're so smart, I bet you saw through that long ago. Then what does that make you? Have _you_ sunk low enough to be contented with just being a substitute?"

_No. You don't mean this. Stop it. Speak more and everything you've built up with this man who loves you will be ruined. You want to be with him, don't you?_

Still Gray continued.

"Natsu doesn't give two fucks about me, but guess what? I can't forget him, I love him that much. And you? You should just give up. No matter how much you love me, I'll never reciprocate."

Gray was being unreasonably mean. He knew that he was being unfair and spiteful, but he was stressing himself out and he needed to take it out on someone. Blame Lyon for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

He ended with a harsh statement.  
>"We're fucking, Lyon. Not dating. I'm your roommate, not your fucking boyfriend."<p>

Hearing those words, Lyon nearly broke down then and there. As it was, he struggled to keep his expression passive when Gray turned his back on him and strutted out the room.  
>But the moment the smaller figure rounded the corner, Lyon lost every little bit of control he had. Uncaring of his appearance, he screamed in agony, crouching down with his head in his hands.<p>

_Why?_

He remembered the moment he fell in love with Gray. The young naïve boy who needed him to teach him how to conjure up a shield because he wanted to show off to Ur.

He remembered all of his love converting to hate when Ur sacrificed herself.

He remembered falling in love all over again when Gray smiled at him, ever forgiving, and suggested he join a guild.

_Why?_

He remembered the shock when he found out Gray's love for Natsu. And the sound of his heart shattering to pieces when they started dating. He remembered Gray coming to him after they broke up, and the hope rising within him.

_Why?_

He remembered, reminisced. The moment Gray smiled at him and took his hand, kissing him. Telling him that he was important. Letting him make a mess out of Gray's body. These three months had been heaven. Taking on missions, looking out for each other, taking turns cooking, joking around, and making love.

But _Why?_

Had he just been purely delusional? Maybe he should heed Gray's advice and give up. He would never be able to provide Gray with Natsu's warmth. He didn't possess the fire to do so, all he had was his frozen soul.

He wanted to give up.

Standing up, he noticed that tears were streaming down his face. His hands shaking, he wiped his eyes with determination.

_No. There would be no giving up. Gray needs him. He couldn't let Gray go, Gray was too fragile. He had to hold on and be strong, for Gray's sake._

* * *

><p>Gray despised himself.<p>

He had no right to accuse Lyon of being ungrateful. The jerk playing around with people's feelings was none other than himself.

He wanted to move on, he truly did. He believes that he can come to love Lyon. In fact, he could feel it happening gradually as the days passed. With time, his heart would definitely be able to accept Lyon as his lover.

Lyon, who was the polar opposite of Natsu.

No use crying over spilt milk. All chances with Lyon were probably gone, no thanks to his stupid mouth.

He trudged down the familiar streets of Magnolia with his head lowered, stripping himself of his clothes.

Suddenly, he bumped shoulders with someone. Irritated, he snapped, "Watch where you're going-"

Light returned to his eyes.

"Na..." He coughed. "Natsu?"

* * *

><p><strong><em>I thank everyone who reviewed, followed or favorited. I would never have the motivation to write if it weren't for you guys. Truth is, I encountered writer's block (so early in the story?!) and I'm not really satisfied with this chapter. Hope it was up to expectation.<em>**

**_Please review and give me your thoughts. Suggestions are always welcome ;)_**

**_P.S. I dunno if anybody noticed, but Nelly and Tes from the last chapter are Nel Tu Odelschvank and Tesla from Bleach ^^_**

**_Oh, and Happy Chinese New Year! (I'm a Chinese Malaysian, haha)_**

**_-Dreams_**

**Anon replies :**

**Guest : I love angst too, it's like my favorite genre. I just love heartbreak lol**

**Kiwi : I was worried over whether my style of writing was able to bring out emotion, and I'm glad that you reassured me. Thank you.**

**Guest : I dunno whether you're the same guest, haha but thanks for reviewing!**

**SomeRandomAnon : And _you _make my day by reviewing! ;)**

**vanessa cruz : Thank you and here is your chapter! ^^**


	8. Chapter 7 - Realization

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, NaLu, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 7 - Realization<em>**

"Natsu."

"Yeah?"

"We should stop this- whatever we're doing. I can't. No more."

"Lucy?"

"I'm not evil, and I'm not heartless. Gosh, Natsu, I can't do this! It's dragged on longer than it should ever have. I... No, you... Natsu." Lucy massaged her temples slowly, her eyebrows furrowed.

"I shouldn't even need to bring this up. You _know_. There's no way you don't. I'm still not in love with you." Lucy smiled weakly. "And despite what it may seem, you're not in love with me either."

Natsu kept his lips sealed and his expression neutral.

"I guess... I don't need to tell you who I did this for. And you..." Lucy put her hands on Natsu's shoulders. "Look at you." Tenderly, she stroked his cheek. "It's taking its toll on you, you know. You look exhausted. The bags under your eyes are getting more and more prominent. This isn't healthy." She smiled again, this time knowingly.

"All for him."

Natsu did not deny the statement.

Lucy continued, elaborating like it was a normal fact, speaking it out loud for the words to sink in. "Fifty-hundred million Jewel, huh? You've worked so hard these days, yet the target is still so far away. I admire your determination, but I don't really understand the reason behind your actions. Why are you that set on buying it back?"

Natsu finally spoke. Never breaking eye contact, he said, "That guy did it for me. If it weren't for me, he would still have a home." He cast his eyes to the ground. "I'm... The worst. I never truly appreciated him, and what did I do? I persuaded him to sell his house, robbing him of his home, only to tell him to move in with a person who doesn't deserve him at all. And I was all self-righteous about it. Like, 'he would be lonely out there' or 'I'm doing this for him' when I was just plain selfish." Natsu paused. "Anyway, I have to buy it. He needs a place to stay when he returns permanently."

"But is he going to return? People are saying that he's moved... How could he keep quiet about something like that?"

"He's returning." Natsu's tone was sure and confident, but his eyes portrayed a different thing altogether. "But... I doubt he still wants to live with me."

"Don't say that. You know that he loves you." Even when she offered words of comfort, she felt sick. She knew that Gray loved Natsu, yet... "Wait, why did he leave in the first place? Natsu, did he find out about us?"

Natsu shook his head, "No, he didn't. I guess he just finally had enough of me not loving him."

"But you do."

"..."

"And that is why you're doing this."

Natsu chuckled. "I thought you didn't understand my reasoning?"

The blonde-haired girl let out a soft tinkle of laughter, and Natsu smiled. It no longer set his heart on fire.

Lucy grinned, "Gosh, this is really hard to get used to. A mature Natsu, wow! Never expected to see that in my lifetime."

Natsu shrugged. "I'm not half as dense as I appear to be."

"Guess so." Lucy held out a hand, and Natsu stared at the smooth, white skin. "Still friends?"

"Don't be silly, Lucy." Natsu grabbed the hand in a firm handshake. "Best friends."

_When was it?_

_When did he stop loving Lucy?_

_No._

He didn't. He still loved her. It had simply become a different kind of love.

Igneel taught him that energy could not be destroyed, but could transform from one form to another. Perhaps this was it. Love was strength, wasn't it? Then it had to be a sort of energy as well.

But the question was - when and how did he realize?

It all boiled down to one person.

_Gray_.

Since Gray returned to Magnolia, he had been struggling. He wanted to see Gray so much, but at the same time he didn't have the courage.

He wasn't strong or brave enough to face a Gray that had given up on him.

A Gray that wouldn't pull him into a hug, look him in the eye and curse him yet tell him 'I love you' immediately afterward.

So he procrastinated. He knew that Gray would only be here for a few days, a week at most, but he still couldn't bring himself to face him.

He felt horrible.

Every time he woke up without Gray at his right, he was uneasy. Every morning when he didn't see Gray's black toothbrush leaning against his own, he felt uncomfortable. Every time he saw a snow cone, his heart jolted and his head unconsciously swirled around, his eyes searching for the familiar figure, only to be disappointed.

He wondered what the hell was happening to him. He wondered why kissing Lucy didn't take him to heaven and let him avoid his troubles anymore.

He had never noticed the change. Before, he wouldn't even care who slept on his right, if there was even someone. And he certainly wouldn't be aware that Gray wasn't around or had moved his belongings out.

It was different now. Seeing Gray's face in the magazine changed everything. All the emotions he had unknowingly locked up were set free like a broken dam when he saw the man he loved.

The man... He loved.

Yes, he loved Gray.

His timing just sucked. It took Gray leaving for him to realize that fact, and it was too late. Once he acknowledged his feelings, everything began to make sense.

The reason he never let Lucy sleep at his right.

The reason he never took off the ice ring no matter what; and the reason he carefully kept both rings into a small box and carried it around with him despite the inconvenience.

The reason he still told Gray he loved him every day back then even though he was supposedly in love with Lucy and had no need to do so anymore.

The reason he found the idea of breaking up repulsive and a nightmare.

The reason the absence of all of Gray's belongings had no impact on him at first since he was in plain denial.

_He missed Gray so much._

He missed waking up next to him in the morning. Just silently watching the gentle expression and brushing the black hair out of his face, placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

He missed their daily brawls and Gray patching him up afterwards because he couldn't wrap a bandage to save his life.

He missed Gray's warmth. He missed always knowing that he could return to the ironically warm embrace and safe haven.

He missed their special moments by the river bank. In fact, recalling it made his heart wrench painfully in his chest.

He missed his scent. He couldn't really explain it with words, it was just so _Gray_.

He missed kissing him, touching him. Making him laugh.

Most of all, he missed his smile. The smile that he had never had the chance to see ever since.

And that saddened him.

By a twist of fate, the rain had washed one of the sex toys Gray had apparently thrown out to his doorstep. He had hurried out and searched under every bark and leaf, collecting all the toys and placing them back into a cardboard box.

Then he had broken down and laughed like a madman.

Finally, something that had Gray's scent, although faint.

He remembered Gray's every moan and sigh of pleasure when they made love. He wanted to be the only person Gray showed that side of him to. He wanted to be the only one to make Gray let out those sinful sounds.

Oddly, the truth was he never loved Gray before they started dating.

Their intimate relationship allowed him to understand Gray at a completely different level. It wasn't wrong to say that he gradually fell in love with Gray along the way.

Natsu finally understood why he didn't break it off with Gray when he had the chance. It wasn't because Lucy was still in love with Loke. It wasn't because he pitied Gray. The reason was simple, he just couldn't bear to live in a world without Gray as his lover.

No, he hadn't loved Gray before. But somehow, he had become attached to him when they became boyfriends. Little by little, one small step at a time, Natsu fell in love. He was just blinded by the unreciprocated feelings he harbored towards Lucy, and never noticed that he was slowly falling for Gray. There was no mistaking it now.

_Natsu was in love with Gray._

But it was too late.

It was too late, dammit!

Natsu had one shot. And he didn't treasure it.

* * *

><p>"Watch where you're going!"<p>

Natsu stared. His hands began to tremble slightly.

"Na..." A cough. "Natsu?"

Was seeing him so horrible and unexpected?

Natsu could honestly admit that he was scared. Fear. Fear was coursing through his veins. Fear that if he didn't say what he needed to right this moment, he would never get the chance ever again.

He was a cowardly little shit. Once Gray walked away, he would not even try to approach him.

Natsu cleared his throat. "Long time no see, eh?"

His voice came out raspy.

Gray smiled, and Natsu could feel the day turning a hundred times better.

Gray had a nice smile. It wasn't wide like his usual grin, on the contrary it was merely a small curve of the lips.

Did he mention how much he missed Gray's smile?

"Yeah."

One word. Is that all you have to say?

"So... I haven't seen you around."

The beautiful smile disappeared, only to be replaced by a grim, thin line. Gray muttered,"That's because you didn't try."

"..."

Natsu desperately searched for words to say. "So, I guess your missions went okay? You're quite famous now."

_Yeah, this is not awkward at all._

"Lyon helped."

"Ah."

Silence.

Natsu hated this tense air around them. They used to be totally at ease around each other, and look at them now.

"Lyon, eh?"

_Come on, you can't look at each other every day, work together, have each other's backs and trust each other like that without falling in love!_

Why was he remembering the words of that random girl in the streets now?

He couldn't stop himself from asking, "Are you guys dating?"

It was a ridiculous question. Of course they weren't.

Gray cocked his head to the side. "Lyon and I? No way." Natsu didn't miss the tightening of his brow and the way he cast his eyes to the ground. Why did he look so upset?

Silence again. Uncomfortable silence instead of the comfy, relaxed silence they had before.

"Good seeing you, Natsu." Gray turned to leave.

"Gray!"

He turned his head back slightly, asking, "What, Natsu?"

"Call me 'Shitty Flame'."

"Huh?"

"Just do it!"

Gray turned again and began walking away.

"I can't, _Natsu_."

Since when did Gray start saying his name with such spite? And was that a hint of melancholy?

"Why?" The dragon slayer yelled after him.

"No reason." The answer was soft, but Natsu still caught it. He ran after the black-haired teen as fast as he could, and grabbed his wrist, forcing him around.

"Is it because it reminds you of your love for me?"

Gray yanked his hand away. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You still love me, don't you? There's no way three months would be able to wash away those feelings." Natsu had no clue where the sudden surge of confidence was coming from.

"You're not making sense, Natsu." Gray's head was lowered, his black hair shading his face and at the same time, his expression.

"I'm sorry! I was stupid, I'm so sorry, Gray. I..." Natsu sucked in a deep breath. "I love you." He could feel elation spreading across his chest. How long has it been since he said those words to the person he loved? It made him so happy to say them.

"You don't."

Gray's tone was indifferent.

"Wha... What?" Of all the reactions he expected, this was one he never could have predicted. Outright denial and rejection of his feelings.

"You don't. Do you need me to repeat it again, Natsu?"

Natsu was beginning to dislike the way his name was spoken.

It was different. Gray used to call his name with anger, frustration and impatience, but he could always detect love between the syllables.

He couldn't now. There was no trace of love. There was no trace of _emotion_. It was as if he was uttering the name of a stranger.

And it hurt more than any spiteful words Gray may ever say.

Gray continued, "Don't apologize. There is nothing to forgive."

Natsu bit his lip and spoke up again, his voice shivering ever so minutely. "I miss you."

"I missed you too." _Why did the words not sound right?_

Natsu tried again. "I miss being your boyfriend, Gray."

"I'm sorry, but I don't recall us ever being a couple."

Eyes widening, his heart nearly stopped beating.

_What?_

"Gray..."

"I was just kidding myself back then. We never dated, Natsu. Lucy was right, love isn't the most primary aspect of a romantic relationship. Not when it's one-sided."

And for once in his life, Natsu wished that Lucy wasn't right.

He had no words to say. He wanted to scream that he loved Gray, that he had finally opened his eyes, but all that escaped his mouth was his name.

"Gray...Gray-"

"Stop saying my name as if it means something to you. It's disgusting."

With that final strike, Gray left.

Natsu couldn't feel anything. The world was crumbling around him, the roof collapsing and the earth quaking, but he couldn't feel anything.

He stood up slowly and began walking.

* * *

><p>Gray turned sharply around a corner and leaned his back against the dirty wall, uncaring of the dirt.<p>

He touched the corners of his eyes, and wasn't surprised that his fingers came away moist.

_"I love you."_

Why?

_"Gray."_

Don't call my name.

_"I miss you."_

You don't, you **don't**.

Gray tiredly pushed himself off the wall.

_Shitty Flame, you look horrible. Have you been sleeping well? Eating right?_

_Well, it's not my responsibility anymore nor is it my place to care._

_You have Lucy for that, Shitty Flame._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Gosh, I'm so sorry. The exams are coming up one after another. To everyone who followed, favorited or reviewed, thank you!<em>**

**_Please forgive me and give me your thoughts. _**

**_-Dreams_**

**Anon replies :**

**RENNICHI : OMG is that true? Here's a tissue haha. Btw, I ship RenIchi too ;)**

**vanessa cruz : Hope the suspense was worth it!**

**SomeRandomAnon : In a way, Natsu would probably have preferred a kick in the balls compared to this.**


	9. Chapter 8 - Resolve

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, NaLu, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 8 - Resolve<em>**

"Listen to me, Natsu! Don't go!" Desperate, Lucy wrapped her arms around Natsu's waist to hold him back, but her efforts were futile.

"Let go, Lucy." Natsu's voice was void of emotion.

"You're not thinking straight! Please, Natsu! I'm begging you!" Lucy pleaded. "Don't do this."

Natsu began trudging forward, not caring that there was a young woman hanging off him. He uttered softly and dangerously, "If you don't let go I'll be forced to resort to violence."

Lucy's eyes frantically scanned the guild hall for assistance. "Someone, please! Stop him! If he goes out there today, in this state..."

"That's enough."

_Erza_.

Natsu registered the owner of the intimidating voice, but the usual fear that came afterwards did not make its way through his nerves. Nobody would be able to stop him. Not today.

"Look at me, Natsu."

Stubbornly, Natsu kept his back to the woman he would never have had the guts to talk back to in the past.

The guild members watching the scene held their breath. The silence was deafening.

Erza's beautiful eyes narrowed for a second. She appeared to be pondering something, then she relaxed her stiff shoulders.

"Very well. Natsu Dragneel, I permit your leave."

"Erza! You can't! Look at him!" Lucy tried to reason with her. "He is in no fit condition to..."

Erza cut her off calmly, "I know that." She walked forward and rested her hand gently on Natsu's right shoulder. "If you have your mind made up, I don't suppose anything from another person's mouth would be able to shake your resolve. But hear this. Are you absolutely certain that what you are doing is rational?"

"..."

Taking Natsu's silence to be a good sign, the scarlet haired Mage continued, "If you are that set on leaving, at the very least take Happy with you. Isn't he your partner?"

Natsu opened his mouth. "This is something I have to do alone."

A tiny line of tension began spreading across Erza's features. "What are you trying to prove, Natsu?"

She did not receive a response.

"I am no love expert. But do not think that I am unaware of how you treated Gray. I did not meddle simply because I thought that both of you," her gaze zeroed in on Lucy who looked away in embarrassment and guilt, "were mature and smart enough to stop this nonsense before it went out of hand. If you two wanted to be together you could have handled it a lot better. Now look what happened. Gray only shows up at the guild from time to time for a mission, and even then he never stays long. Loke has never shown his face since. And Natsu, look at yourself for a moment. You were all sunshine and rainbows with Lucy before, but now you're a wreck. Face it, you miss him."

Natsu finally tuned around to face her. Through gritted teeth, he ground out, "I don't need you to tell me that. That is why I need to do this."

"What next? Do you expect him to run into your arms?"

"_I don't know_, okay!" Natsu snapped. "But this is the least I can do!"

Erza's eyebrows knitted themselves together. "Do you really think that knowing you went all out and got yourself injured would please Gray?"

"Like I said, _I don't know! _But I've got to try. I can't just give up on him, I love him!"

"What if he doesn't reciprocate? What if he never forgives you for going behind his back? What if he doesn't accept your apologies? Doesn't accept you?"

Blinking at the questions fired at him, Natsu answered slowly, "Gray... doesn't know about Lucy and I. And to all of you," he regarded the surrounding guild members, "I ask you to let it remain a secret. He has been hurt enough."

Scarlet hair covering her face, Erza shook her head slowly.

_If only you knew. The extent of the damage you did._

"You have my permission. Leave." The armored female turned on her heels. "I pray that you return in one piece."

* * *

><p>Cold sweat was trickling down his forehead. Using the back of his hand, he wiped the salty liquid away.<p>

There was a dull aching in his heart.

Was it their confrontation yesterday? Or was it the heat?

The weather wasn't particularly sunny, but the temperature was abnormally high. The atmosphere was stifling.

It almost felt like a premonition of something bad that was about to happen.

Gray disregarded the gloomy thought, and waved the flyer in his hand at the man before him.

Lyon understood immediately. The two of them have come to a certain degree where words didn't need to be exchanged. Wordlessly, they packed and headed of to the Magnolia's train station, towards a new mission and away from the past.

* * *

><p>Natsu decided against taking the train. He'd just have to get anywhere and everywhere on foot. He'd swim if he had to.<p>

_Just think of it as training regimen._

As he walked, his mind wandered to the mistakes he had made. Those thoughts only served to worsen his already sunken mood.

"Stop it." He clapped both of his cheeks with his hands. "You're doing this for him. No point in being all down. Just imagine his face when he realizes what you went through for him. Those pale white cheeks tainted with pink, and the beautiful smile he would surely give you the privilege of witnessing again. His eyes looking anywhere but at you, and the red creeping up his neck. Imagine how happy and cutely embarrassed he would be."

The image of a happily laughing Gray soon appeared in his mind's eye, and he finally grinned for the first time in days.

_This is why I must achieve this alone._

* * *

><p>"Hyoujin : Nanarenbu!" (Ice blade: Seven Slice Dance)<p>

No matter how many times he witnessed it, he always felt in awe of Gray's beauty. The way he moved, gracefully, effortlessly, coldly. Slicing the enemy while pivoting on a foot, his eyes deadly and concentrated. As if enacting a solo dance, he twisted and turned, again and again.

At the seventh hit, the ice shattered. Tiny bits of ice sparkled around him, enhancing the magic of his beauty. Or was it the beauty of his magic?

Perhaps Lyon was exaggerating. Or maybe he simply saw Gray differently. Be that as it may, he was astounded. This was a move he had never seen prior to the first joint mission they went on. Even though he bitterly learnt that it was apparently a move Gray invented to save Natsu, he couldn't be more glad that he did.

_Why did Gray keep on providing him with more and more reasons to fall in love, when he was already this smitten in the first place?_

"Here."

Shaken out of his stupor, Lyon accepted the drink Gray handed to him.

With a clank, Gray tapped their aluminum cans together. "Another job well done!"

"You stuck up little shit." Despite so, Lyon threw his head back and laughed.

"Seriously, great job." Gray grinned, "That puny dark guild didn't even last three hours!"

Lyon stared at him, an expression that Gray couldn't quite read on his face.

"...What?"

A gentle, approving smile.

"You've grown stronger, Gray. Ur would be proud."

His eyes widening, Gray could feel a blush creeping up the back of his neck, quickly spreading to his ears.

"Lyon..."

That meant so much more than anyone could ever imagine.

Even though he never mentioned it, Gray had always secretly been upset that he was unable to measure up to his elder pupil.

Lyon who could do ice magic with one hand when he couldn't. Lyon, who mastered all the little tricks Ur taught before Gray could so much as understand the concept. Lyon who grew up really nicely, becoming the well-known hottie and even ranking third in Sorcerer Weekly in the "Mage I would like as my boyfriend" poll. Gray had been honestly shocked when he came across that article. Lyon had actually succeeded in kicking Loke out of the top three. (Loke had sulked briefly at becoming number four).

Lyon who he admired. Not only for his strength, but also his wit.

And look at Gray. Awkward, an exhibitionist and shrouded by the murky past, unable to truly let go no matter how hard he tried.

He was finally accepted as Lyon's equal. He couldn't be one hundred percent sure that that was what Lyon wanted to say, but he was all too willing to interpret it this way.

"You're so damn cute." Lyon laughed again and rested their foreheads against each other. This was something that he loved to do.

"I love you, Gray."

Gray blushed again.

It was as if their fall out the day before never happened.

"I'm going to fall in love with you one day, Lyon." He looked Lyon in the eye. "Watch me."

As they basked in the warmth of each other, Gray was contented. Yes, loving Lyon wouldn't be too bad.

If only he could get rid of the nagging images of pink hair and pointed teeth at the back of his mind.

* * *

><p><strong><em>To all followers of this story, I am so sorry! I can't even begin to apologize for this update that is way overdue. <em>**

**_I'm just one of those writers that don't have the entire story plotted out. I rewrote this chapter like n times. I really hope that it was up to your expectations (crosses fingers)._**

**_It has been exactly one month since the last update, gosh. Hope this doesn't happen again. Darn you writer's block._**

**_Shout out to those who PMed me about this story. You guys are awesome. Of course, all reviewers, followers and favoriters are awesome too ^^_**

**_Please R&R! :)_**

**_- Dreams_**

_Replies to ANONS _

_Guest : Oops there are four guests! Is it safe to assume you are all one and the same? Haha. Thanks for reviewing and pushing me to write more._

_Rewinsan : Yep he totally deserves it!_


	10. Chapter 9 - Who am I?

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, NaLu, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 9 - Who am I?<strong>_

_"Fine." Gray paused. "But if we're fucking, we're fucking here."_

_"Here? What the hell, Gray?"_

_Gray took a deep breath and stood up. He wrapped his arms around Natsu and whispered in his ear, "Yes, right here, right now. Fuck me. Mark me for the world to see. Let everyone know that I am yours."_

_He withdrew. "I will always be yours." Then his eyes darkened for a second, "Even if you do not belong to me."_

Coal eyes shot open.

Natsu sat up, sweat trickling down his back, drenching his vest.

Why? What was the reason for the panic in his heart?

His lips formed a word that came out in the form of a soft whisper.

"Liar."

_You are no longer mine_.

* * *

><p><em>What were they?<em>

Lyon wrapped his arms gently but firmly around Gray's torso, pulling the younger male against his chest. Staring at the peaceful, relaxed features, Lyon couldn't help but lean down and capture those pale lips in a brief kiss.

_Brothers? Lovers?_

An unwanted memory forced its way though, destroying the moment. The very same voice of the man he held that very moment, laced with acid that corroded all the way into his bones.

_"We're fucking, Lyon. Not dating. I'm your roommate, not your fucking boyfriend."_

The sliver haired Mage winced. Slowly and cautiously so as to not wake the other, he untangled their limbs and stood up. However, his efforts were fruitless. Awakened, Gray yawned and brought a hand up to shade his eyes from the light shining through the blinds. Instinctively, he opened his mouth to ask,"Mm. What's the time, Natsu?"

Lyon turned stiffly and entered the washroom, shutting the door quietly. He splashed cold water against his face, his eyes closing in an act of defeat.

_I guess not._

* * *

><p>"Three-year-quest, huh?" Natsu squinted at the squiggly symbols on the yellowed sheet of paper. "This better be worth it."<p>

Shifting his line of vision to the rain pouring down heavily outside, he sighed and retreated further inside the dark, musky cave.

The steady pitter-patter of raindrops stirred a memory that wasn't exactly distant, but felt so far away.

* * *

><p>"G-g-g- Gray... I'm freezing... Care to switch off the h-human air conditioner function for a f-few hours?" Rubbing his arms in effort to create friction and subsequently warmth, Natsu turned to his all too comfortable boyfriend.<p>

Gray looked pissed. "Shut up. You're the human fireplace, just heat up the air around you. Dumbass." In truth, he was struggling to keep a cheeky grin off his face, and Natsu could read him like a book.

Unoffended, the dragon slayer shrugged dramatically.

"O, woe is me! Who could have predicted such misfortune would be bestowed upon such a lovely, handsome young man as myself! Being a hot, attractive person is hard. Savvy?"

The laughter Gray had been holding in finally burst out in the form of loud, boisterous guffaws.

_Gosh, I love you._

"Fucking... Idiot..."

Natsu simply looked at his amused lover and smiled.

"Glad you think that my suffering is stupid. Now..." He scooted closer. "I can think of a much better way to warm myself."

Ceasing his chuckles at last, Gray turned to him with teary eyes. "Wha.. What?"

Like a predator stalking its unknowing prey, the dragon slayer pounced.

"What the... Get off me!"

They were rolling, rolling.

"Let's share body heat, Gray-chan!"

"Leave off the '-chan'! You know I hate it when people call me that."

"I'm not just 'people', I'm your beloved boyfriend, asshole. I'm hurt!"

After playful (?) banter for what felt like forever, the two boys rolled to a halt. Taking note of their current position, the raven leaned down and smirked.

"Looks like I'm topping tonight."

"Oh yes, definitely."

Taken aback, Gray felt a strong sense of unease at the innocent smile on his lover's face.

"... Really?"

"Totally." Natsu reached up and yanked Gray's head down, connecting their lips forcefully.

* * *

><p>"I hate you."<p>

"Love you too, boyfriend."

Gray scowled, a deep blush adorning his features. "I didn't mean that sort of topping. I can't believe I ended up riding you! This is so damn unfair."

The pink haired boy laughed heartily. "You made the best topping in the world. Even better than the toppings on Erza's strawberry cakes."

"Also, you filthy liar."

Natsu let out a sound like a confused, hurt little animal.

"I said, you filthy liar. You weren't cold at all in the first place! Don't think I didn't notice."

Grinning brightly, Natsu brought a hand to the back of his head. "You got me."

Gray scowled again. "You don't look particularly sorry."

"Why, that's because..." Strong arms wrapped around his bare back, pulling his naked skin flush against the other's. "I love you too much to feel remorse for making love to you."

"You... You complete and utter sap."

But Gray's lips were curved in a beautiful smile.

* * *

><p><em>I want to be the one to make you smile again.<em>

* * *

><p>"Who am I, Gray?"<p>

Taken by surprise by the sudden and random inquiry, Gray started. "Is this supposed to be a philosophical question?"

The other man's expression was blank.

"Okay, uh..." Gray hesitated. "You're... Lyon. Lamia Scale Mage, S class, stuck up."

Lyon cut him off. "Who am I to _you_, Gray? It's not important, just humor me."

Gray pondered for a few short moments before answering.

"You are my base. My source. You are who I go to when nobody is there for me. You are the only constant in my life." Seriously, he caught Lyon's gaze and continued, "And I can't tell you just how much I appreciate you."

Reaching out with his left hand, Gray did an uncharacteristic act of caressing the silver-haired man's cheek. "Lyon, you're irreplaceable. Important. Please see that."

Lyon leaned into the touch. Once again, Gray knew exactly what was up. He felt like a wimp, but still he asked.

"So I'm not just a convenient substitute?"

Gray bit his lip. Then he slowly but surely intertwined his fingers with Lyon's, all the while maintaining eye contact. "Is this a good enough answer for you?"

Lyon could not be one hundred percent sure yet. No harm in confirming.

"Then... What are we? Is there even a 'we'?"

To be perfectly honest, Gray felt horrible. Like the dirtiest scum on the earth. Seeing just how much he had pulled the prideful Mage down made him overwhelmed with guilt.

"Lyon, I'm sorry."

The elder disciple's heart lodged in his throat.

"I never apologized for being a jerk, did I? When I said we were just fuck buddies, Lyon... I meant it. Look, I fucked up. I mean..." Gray paused. "We being fuck buddies means that there was room for our relationship to progress. That I wanted to be... More. Shit, what the hell am I saying? Bottom line is, I'm sorry."

Hope was blossoming like a spring flower. "Answer the question."

"We are... Or rather, I wish for us to be..." Red was creeping across his cheeks. "Lovers. I'm not pulling your leg. I mean this."

All the heaviness lifted from his heart, Lyon smiled contentedly.

"Then kiss me."

Gray did.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hi guys. Please don't kill me. I know I haven't updated in ages and this chapter is way too short to compensate, I'm so sorry. I'm seriously having some problems with this fic, but I refuse to give up. I like the plot too much for that.<strong>_

_**Thank you for sticking with me. **_

_Replies to Anons :_

_Muffinator 3000: Thank you for reviewing, here is the chapter. Hope you enjoy it._

_Guest : Update finally out, so sorry._

_vanessa cruz : thanks! I hope I didn't disappoint you._

_DrewFullbuster : thank you for the encouragement._


	11. Chapter 10 - Empty

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, NaLu, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established (and broken) relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 10 - Empty<em>**

"You... You monster! What the fuck are you?"

Natsu trudged forward in slow motion, a sinister grin never leaving his face.

"I am... A dragon slayer." _His_ dragon slayer. "Sweet dreams."

As the supposedly professional and hard-to-capture criminal screamed his head off, a blazing fist passed clean through his abdomen.

* * *

><p>"Three-year-mission, my ass." Collecting the reward, a happy and satiated dragon slayer counted the jewels one by one. "Okay, that's four... Five thousand? Million? Whatever, it's not like I can count that well anyway. Well, I'll be going!"<p>

Wanting to take the quickest route home to tell Gray the good news, he had deemed boarding a train worth it. He yawned lazily and turned his head to the view outside. Although the usual queasiness in his stomach was unyielding, he couldn't be having a better day.

_You're a monster!_

It was abrupt, with no warning whatsoever.

Memories of what had been running though his mind earlier that day invaded so suddenly Natsu doubled over and retched. Disgusted with himself. He was hit with realization so great, he almost regretted his actions. Almost.

_I had honestly wanted to kill him. That criminal._

Natsu could taste the bile welling up in his throat as well as the vomit at the tip of his tongue.

_What would you say if you saw me like this? I nearly killed for you today. Nearly spilled cold blood that wasn't mine. I can't live without you. In your absence, all that is left of me is emptiness. Ne. What would you say, Gray..._

* * *

><p>"What the-" Gray was speechless. "<em>Lyon<em>!"

The silver-haired man chuckled at the look on his lover's face. "I take that you like it?"

"Oh my god. I freaking love it! I love _you_! But dammit Lyon, you didn't have to!"

Lyon shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

Gray was spluttering. "Not a big deal? Do you see this? It's a freaking palace!"

The black-haired teen was suddenly pulled into a warm embrace. "It's your palace, Princess."

Blushing, Gray retorted, "I'm gonna be the better man and let you off just this once, okay?" He pulled away naturally and continued marveling. "Gosh, just how much did this cost? And more importantly," he coughed. "Why the sudden gift?"

"Gift?" Lyon laughed. "We're paying for this together, silly."

.

.

.

The words echoed in his head.

Gray paled.

"...Sell this shit. I don't care how much I love it, sell it."

Lyon couldn't stop laughing.

"Oi, Lyon! I know we earned quite the sum from all those S class missions, but I was sorta planning on having a nice, low-key life for the rest of my years, ya know? I was saving up. Are you even listening to me?"

Lyon blinked away tears. "No one's telling you to pay with Jewels."

Gray stared at the other for fifteen seconds before it clicked.

"Wha-?" And here you have a rare, bright red ice Mage. "Lyon, you pervert! Like hell am I paying you with my sexy body!"

Stifling his laughter, Lyon voiced playfully, "Oh? Who said anything about sexy bodies? Look who's the pervert here that misunderstood."

"Wait, that's not it?" Gray cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"I want something that is worth so much more." Lyon turned Gray around and wrapped strong arms around the smaller body, pulling the other flush against his chest. He whispered at Gray's ear, his cold, chilly breath tickling him.

"I want your heart. Your love. Can you promise me that?"

Gray shivered. But he lowered his head, his bangs shadowing his expression. "Lyon... Don't. You know that I'm trying. And you know that I still love him."

That didn't deter Lyon in the slightest. "I know. You don't have to pay me in full immediately, you know. You can pay me bit by bit, and one day I'm going to have all your love and attention. Is that okay?"

Gray breathed out a sigh of relief. "Okay."

Lyon had no idea why he was lowering his voice. "Hey. Are you completely sure? This is the promise of a lifetime. Non-refundable. Do you honestly-"

"I do." Gray cut him off. "I do, alright. I told you before." Gray shifted in the other's arms until he was facing him directly. "I want to be with you." With that, he grabbed Lyon's face and kissed him.

Between kisses, Gray murmured, "I don't deserve you, Lyon."

"No, you don't." Lyon replied honestly. "But I sure as hell deserve you." That said, he returned the kiss with fervor.

After a few minutes, they separated, a thin string of saliva connecting their lips.

"As an afterthought," Lyon remarked, "Your sexy body doesn't seem so bad, I'll be taking that too."

"_Lyon_!"

The two ice mages had moved to the bedroom somehow while making out, and they fell onto the soft sheets.

Gray hadn't felt this happy in ages.

"Hey, Lyon."

Unbuttoning his shirt, Lyon looked up and asked, "What?"

"We're actually living together now then."

"That _is_ the idea." Lyon smiled.

"Lyon..." Tears were welling up in his eyes.

Taken aback by the unexpected and uncharacteristic display of emotion, Lyon inquired worriedly, "Are you okay? What is it?"

"Nothing. I just..." When Gray smiled, it was sincere and gentle. "I have a home now. And I'm happy. Thank you, Lyon."

Lyon leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead. "You're welcome."

* * *

><p>"Is Gray still in Magnolia?" Natsu burst into the guild.<p>

After a moment of surprised silence, Mirajane spoke up, "Yes, he is."

"To be exact, he left but he returned again." Erza looked the dragon slayer up and down. "You look... Healthy. And you're back early. Plus you're grinning. Good news, I presume?"

"Yeah!" Natsu was grinning from ear to ear. "I've got a surprise for him! Do you know where he is, Erza?"

The scarlet Mage smiled approvingly and supportively. "He's right in the neighborhood. I'm surprised you didn't notice the house. Just a bit to the north of our guild. You'll recognize it immediately."

As Natsu hurried out, he felt a strong sense of unease brewing in his belly, but he ignored it.

_I can't wait to see his face when he realizes he has a home again._

A smile made its way across Natsu's features. "A home had always held great significance for him."

He rounded a corner, sweat trickling down the nape of his neck.

True to Erza's word, he recognized Gray's place at the first glance.

How could he not?

The place was huge. Scratch that, it was colossal. The walls seemed to be made of something akin to glass or ice, and glittered in the sunlight. The temperature was colder than normal, an obvious giveaway.

But most importantly...

Natsu's stomach tightened, and his hands balled into fists.

Adjacent to the doorbell was a plate. On the plate was carved three words in beautiful cursive - "Lyon & Gray".

"What the fuck."

Natsu turned on his heels and started running. He didn't know what to do. It hit him too abruptly.

It was magnificent. But Natsu just couldn't see Gray living in a place like that. It didn't fit.

_You don't belong there._

_You shouldn't be living there. Living with him._

It didn't sit right with Natsu.

_In the first place, didn't you say that you weren't coming back to Magnolia? And all of a sudden you're staying here? Staying with **Lyon**? What. The. Fuck._

When he finally ran out of stamina and strength, he crumpled to a heap on the floor. Croaking out bitter laughter, he choked out, "Well look where my feet took me."

Gray's house, the house he had just spent every Jewel he earned on, was staring at him. It was like a slap to the face. No, that wasn't it. It was like a hammer to his heart.

Shit. It fucking _hurt_.

Pulling the house keys out of his pocket, Natsu placed them on his palm.

"Guess you don't need these after all, Ice bastard." The other words were left unspoken. _You don't need me anymore._

* * *

><p><strong><em>I can't really say anything. It's been a busy month. Gosh, I'm so sorry! I know that this is once again an unsatisfactory, short chapter, but I have good news! The school holidays have finally arrived! So I'll be updating more frequently. At any rate, I promise to update <span>within the week.<span> You have my word!_**

**_Shout out to everyone who PMed me about this story, you guys really pushed me off my lazy butt. Thank you so much. And thank you to all those who favorited, followed or reviewed._**

**_I'm still way too busy so I apologize deeply for not being able to reply personally to all the reviews as I have been doing previously._**

**_Once again, sorry for the month-long wait! _**

**_Please R&R! :)_**

**_- Dreams_**


	12. Chapter 11 - Insanity

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, NaLu, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established (and broken) relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><em><span>Beware angst, craziness and sudden mood change of the story.<span>_

**_Chapter 11 - Insanity_**

_Is this it for us?_

Dull eyes blinked sluggishly. The burst of adrenaline before seemed to have repercussions.

_No. Like hell am I going to let it end. Not like this. Not when I finally realized my feelings._

Determined, Natsu picked himself up. Slipping the house keys into his pocket, he managed to muster up a grin which was neither as bright nor as energetic as usual, but still a grin nonetheless.

"I'll just hold on to these keys for you until you want them again."

Natsu walked in the direction of the guild slowly, deep in thought.

_I never actually wooed someone before, but no harm in trying, I guess. For Gray._

His simple brain came up with ideas that were not exactly ingenious.

* * *

><p>"Gray!"<p>

Startled by the sudden and random appearance of his ex-boyfriend, Gray simply stared.

_How the hell did he get in our house?_

"Oh Gray! My sun and stars! My world itself! How are you on this fine day?"

"..." Dumbfounded, Gray idly wondered if the screws in Natsu's head needed to be tightened.

Natsu frowned. That was not the reaction he was looking for. Clearing his throat, he made a second (poor) attempt.

"If I were a cat, I would spend all nine lifetimes falling in love with the same person - you!"

"... Huh?"

"We may both be males, but fear not! Igneel is gonna approve of our marriage- When I find him. So you can leap into my arms at any moment!"

Honestly bewildered, Gray asked carefully, "Natsu? Are you drunk?"

"Drunk on love for you, my dearest block of ice!"

"If you're not drunk, then I'm probably dreaming. Have a nice day." The black-haired teen turned around, shaking his head. "Jeez, what did Lyon put in my drink?"

"Wa- wait! Moon of my life!" Natsu struggled. He didn't exactly have the greatest expanse of vocabulary at hand. So he promptly decided to just yell out the first thing that came to mind - a truth that he had never dwelled on for long.

_"**Gray is a dull colour, but I love it because it reminds me of you!**"_

Gray halted his footsteps instantly. Taking it as a good sign, Natsu hurried to his side and grabbed his hand.

"I think your droopy eyes are weird, but since they're a part of you, I love them."

Observing closely, the pink-haired Mage rejoiced inwardly at the dust of pink across Gray's cheeks. Running his free hand over Gray's forehead, he continued, "I love your scars. They are proof of the physical and mental battles you have been through, and they are beautiful."

"...it."

"What?" Natsu leaned in further, unable to hear the soft words of his desired.

"Stop it. Stop fucking with me. You think this is funny?" When Gray made eye contact with the man before him, his onyx orbs were hard and cold. "You don't just show up on people's doorstep and start frothing nonsense from the mouth." _You don't just suddenly tell me things that I have always longed to hear after I've hardened my resolve to give up on you._

"This isn't nonsense." Natsu was oddly calm. For a brief moment, Gray wondered, _Did I break him? He's acting so unlike himself._

"Gray, I..." Natsu started to speak.

At that exact moment, a certain protective ice Mage could stay as audience no longer. Lyon didn't like what was happening at all. He didn't like seeing Gray rebuild the walls around himself again when Lyon had spent so long breaking them down, brick by brick. He didn't like seeing Gray trying so hard to compose himself even though his shaking voice totally gave him away.

Or maybe Lyon was selfish, and simply hated seeing the one Gray loved practically courting Gray right before his eyes. Salamander did not deserve Gray.

A sly hand snaked around Gray's slim waist and pulled him flush against a strong body.

"Lyon? When did you- mmph!" Lips smashed onto his own with ferocity he had never known from the sliver-haired man. His mind blank, he allowed himself to be maneuvered until he was pinned against the cold, hard wall and kissed senseless.

_What was Lyon thinking?_

Gray tried to pull away, but Lyon let out a harsh, animalistic growl and channeled even more strength to the hands forcing Gray's against the flat surface. They were no longer kissing. It felt like Lyon was trying to devour him and frankly, he didn't dislike it. The problem was, it reminded him of the way _Natsu_ kissed.

_Natsu. Yes, what does Natsu think?_

Not thinking straight, Gray began responding to the kiss with equal passion, his eyes darting to Natsu's general direction. Alas, Lyon noticed and immediately grinded against his crotch, making him breathe out a soft moan, his attention no longer divided.

On the other hand, Natsu was trying his best to contain himself, but his patience was slipping. He would love to say that he was brimming with rage, but sadly that was not true. Yes, he felt anger boiling beneath the surface, but mostly he felt hurt.

Hurt and betrayed.

When Natsu saw Gray pushed up against the wall, making out furiously with Lyon, he felt something deep within him break into a trillion tiny pieces. Why? Why did Gray's betrayal hurt so much when Natsu had been the one to cheat in the first place?

Pointless questions. He knew the answers all too well.

Seeing red, Natsu charged like a bull, with no thought of the consequences that would surely follow. A fist packed with the accumulated strength of all the emotions he was currently feeling collided against Lyon's cheek with a sickening crunch, and the man went flying, down for the count.

Shocked, Gray willed himself to move. He was not ashamed to admit that he was scared. The look in Natsu's eyes were frightening the shit out of him.

_What the fuck went wrong?_

"Lyon!" He yelled. Gray knew the sound of breaking bones, he feared for his elder disciple.

It was not the smartest word to cry out in front of a dragon on rampage.

Quick as lightning, Gray was pinned against the wall yet again, this time by the throat. Choking, he pried at the fingers holding him up, praying that he would make this out alive. This was different. Whenever he and Natsu brawled, they never went for the neck. Natsu was seriously contemplating the idea of killing him.

"You've...gone..."Gray coughed as he struggled weakly, "Insane." Black spots were starting to form over his vision.

Suddenly, the world went spinning. The next thing Gray's muddled mind could understand was that he was pressed against the floor, face down and hips up. When his legs were kicked apart, his eyes widened.

Hot breath descended by his ear, and his earlobe was nibbled none too gently.

"I should fuck you. Just pin you down, spread your legs like this and fuck you till you scream. You're strong, Gray. But not as strong as _me_." A hot hand slipped under Gray's shirt and began feeling him up.

"St-stop it!" Gray cursed himself for stuttering. This was no time to panic or show weakness. Choosing the words he knew would have impact, he yelled, "This isn't you! This isn't Natsu Dragneel, the Flame Brain I know like the back of my hand! This isn't who you are! The Natsu I love is kind and protective and doesn't misuse his strength!" With his last ounce of energy, he shouted, "Shitty Flame, you are _not_ a rapist!"

_Shitty Flame._

Emerald eyes were clearing gradually. _You called me Shitty Flame._

Natsu was shaken out of his trance and for the first time, saw what he had done.

Shaking, the dragon slayer climbed off the one he loved, the one he very nearly forced himself on.

"I'm... Sorry..."

Gray got to his feet, avoiding Natsu's eyes. Slowly, he walked towards Lyon and caressed the face of the unconscious man.

"Go away."

"Gray, I..."

"_I don't know you_. Just go away."

Reaching out, Natsu was having trouble breathing. "I'm so sorry, I just..."

"_I said get the fuck out of my house, you **monster****!**_"

_Monster._

_I'm a monster._

Natsu did not leave. Instead, he fell to the floor pathetically, cradled his head in his arms and cried.

* * *

><p><strong><em>So, how was it? Yes, the 'you're a monster' scene from the chapter before was actually foreshadowing. It was there for a reason.<em>**

**_And maaaan. I really am torturing the characters, aren't I? _**

**_Please review and give me your thoughts._**

**_On a side note, who else finds the fact that (spoiler) Silver just kidnapped Gray unbelievably hilarious yet cute? Seriously, Silver? "This runt is mine"? You're practically announcing to the world that Gray is your child lol._**

**_Thanks for reading. Reviews give me strength!_**

**_- Dreams_**


	13. Chapter 12 - Setting Sun

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, NaLu, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established (and broken) relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 12 - Setting Sun<em>**

The sun was setting.

Forcing himself to crack a small smile, Gray teased his lover half-heartedly. "Taken out by one punch? You're getting old, Lyon."

The hand carding through silver hair was suddenly grabbed forcefully.

"Gray."

The black-haired teen silently watched a larger hand intertwine their fingers. His attention was immediately pulled back when Lyon used his other hand to hold his chin and turn it towards himself.

"Don't even joke about this, Gray." Lyon's eyes were dead serious. "Don't try to fool me. That just now..." A vibrating line of tension began to form between the slanted eyes as he continued, "was not a sane man. Salamander snapped, didn't he."

Not knowing what reaction to offer, Gray shrugged his shoulders and absent-mindedly scratched the back of his ear.

Lyon's eyes narrowed further. "Let me look at that." He pushed Gray's hand away to reveal teeth marks on the pale earlobe, and frowned disapprovingly.

"He bit you." It was a statement.

"Yes."

The silver-haired man inhaled deeply, soundlessly counting to ten inside his mind. Still not completely himself, Gray blinked and looked at him wordlessly.

A thought cut into Lyon's brain like a butcher's knife slicing through flesh and bone - messy but terrifying.

Eyes snapping open, Lyon almost raised his voice.

"What else did he do?"

Gray did not answer.

"There's something off about you, Gray. Dammit, look at me!" Lyon stared fiercely into his lover's eyes. "I'm here. With you. It's okay."

Monotonously, Gray stated, "That's the most passionate 'It's okay' I have heard my whole life." He paused briefly before adding, "... ... Lol."

Lyon was panicking inwardly.

"Don't 'lol' me! I swear to God, you're scaring the fuck out of me. What the hell did he do?" Frustrated, Lyon changed the pronoun to a name. "Gray, what did _Natsu_ do to you?"

_Natsu_.

Gray shuddered. "That wasn't Natsu. That... Was a monster."

His reply only served to worry his elder disciple even more.

"Gray, I..."

"He tried..."

The elder man promptly shut his mouth and listened intently, his whole being filled with worry.

Gray continued as though he had not been interrupted. Calmly, he repeated, "He tried... To rape me."

That marked the exact moment Lyon saw white. He grit his teeth. "Oh, did he now?" The sinister tone would have unnerved Gray had he not already been in a state of shock.

The younger ice Mage found it fit to add, "He didn't though." He pondered for a bit before saying, "I think he couldn't."

Lyon took one more look at the fading bite mark on Gray's ear, and his shoulders finally relaxed, his fists unclenching. Without warning, he pulled his younger disciple into a bone-crushing embrace.

Gray stiffened, wondering what had warranted the sudden change of attitude. They stayed in the same position for what felt like hours, Lyon simply taking in that Gray was safe and in his arms. Just when Gray was about to think that the other man had fallen asleep, Lyon started to talk, the slight movement sending tremors throughout Gray's body. Wait, was Lyon... Crying?

The normally composed face of his elder disciple lifted to face him, and Gray was immensely relieved to find that tears were, thankfully, not flowing down the ever-stoic features. There was no doubt about the trembling though.

"You okay?" Cautiously, Gray tested the waters.

Lyon's handsome features gently broke into a smile. "I'm the one supposed to ask that question. Honestly, you freaking softie." He brought his right hand to stroke the side of Gray's face and murmured softly, "If Salamander had gone through with it... I would never forgive myself."

"Who assigned you as my guardian, silly?" Gray leaned into the touch subtly. "And you're the one making me soft, so stop it already."

"_I'm_ the one forced to act uncharacteristically due to your shenanigans, Gray Fullbuster. Seriously, you're like the only one to bring out the depths of my emotions."

"Sap." Gray laughed, a blurry memory fading from the background.

_Gray scowled again. "You don't look particularly sorry."  
>"Why, that's because..." Strong arms wrapped around his bare back, pulling his naked skin flush against the other's. "I love you too much to feel remorse for making love to you."<br>"You... You complete and utter sap."_

When Lyon kissed him, Gray almost convinced himself that he would be capable of forgetting Natsu once and for all.

* * *

><p>"<em>Karyuu no Houkou!<em> (Roar of the Fire Dragon!)"

Lyon had to be physically held back from rushing towards the rampaging dragon slayer a hundred feet before them and dealing him a fatal blow. As it was, the only thing keeping him grounded was the look on Gray's face. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, "Who's bright idea was it to take this route?"

The answer was himself, but whatever. Who could have predicted that the two would end up on the same route Natsu was carrying out his mission?

However, Natsu and the gang of robbers were taking up the whole road, and it was impossible to cross without weaving themselves through the people. Gray grabbed Lyon's sleeve to prevent him from doing anything stupid and hissed, "Let's go."

In truth, Gray's mind was a mess no matter how hard he tried to rearrange his thoughts.

All the images of Natsu were overlapping.

The Natsu he fell in love with, declaring that he would protect his Nakama at all costs.

The Natsu he made love with, taking off his precious scarf just so he could get a better view of Gray's face.

The Natsu he forced himself to fall out of love with (but ultimately failed), kissing Lucy passionately at the dried up riverbank.

The Natsu... He could not recognize, trying to crush his windpipe, forcing him to his knees and spreading his legs.

They were overlapping.

Who was Natsu? Which of these is the true Natsu?

_Gray_.

Was someone calling him?

"GRAY! WATCH OUT!"

Suddenly, he was in the air, and dropping fast. What happened?

Lyon was hurling punches at three of the goons. How did he get involved?

"What the... Gray?"

And he was caught, his head pushed against a firm chest he was all too familiar with. He reached out and clutched the scaly scarf, trying to figure out which persona this current Natsu possessed.

The pink-haired Mage set Gray to his feet carefully, and told him, "Leave, Gray."

_Huh?_

"Leave. I don't want to hurt you."

_Hurt him? Why would Natsu hurt him?_

As if having heard his muddled thoughts, Natsu turned to him and smiled. "Because I'm a monster."

Gray blinked.

And then it took place.

It all happened so fast, too fast for Gray's confused brain to comprehend.

A spear, an arrow. Headed for Gray's heart.

That same spear, that same arrow, buried in Natsu's chest, protruding from the other side when Natsu yanked Gray's body away at lightning speed but wasn't fast enough to avoid the attack himself.

Lyon roaring and freezing all the bandits into human-sized cubes of ice.

Natsu coughing up dark red blood, falling towards Gray's ramrod straight body, the arrowhead nearly making a second penetration. It narrowly missed, and Gray found himself supporting Natsu's limp body, at a loss.

_What to do? If he lowered him to the ground, the spear and arrow would be forced even further into his body._

**_He would die._**

Conjuring up the last ounce of strength, Natsu managed to whisper, "Don't...cry."

Gray stuck out his tongue and tasted the salty liquid flowing down his face, a few drops accumulating at the corners of his mouth.

And then Gray was sobbing.

Sobbing, screaming, howling, a mixture of all.

The skies stayed clear, the sun still shining bright, but Gray's sun was dying.

"You're not..." A strangled sob. "A... Monster, Natsu." The emerald eyes Gray loved so much were darkening and slipping shut.

"NATSU!"

* * *

><p>Gray stared in pure disbelief at the hyperactive dragon slayer prancing about the guild halls one week later.<p>

"Told you he wouldn't die that easily." Lyon rolled his eyes, refusing to admit that at the time, he had been fearing for Natsu's life as well.

Natsu had to live. He must live in order for Gray's tears to never flow again.

Lyon's heart had clenched so painfully it physically hurt when he heard Gray's devastated cries and witnessed his breakdown. He swore that he would never let that scene replay before him ever again.

On the other hand, Natsu halted in front of Gray, and burst into the widest and most carefree smile that Gray had ever seen in months.

Gray had missed it. Sort of.

"Thank you, Gray."

Dumbfounded, the black-haired teen inquired, "For what?"

"For taking care of me. And..." Was it his imagination or were the tips of Natsu's ears reddening? "For telling me I'm not a monster. You don't even know how much that means to me."

Gray nodded quickly and turned away.

As he walked, he chuckled to himself.

What different personas? That was illogically stupid of him.

Natsu was Natsu. That was all there is to it.

The sun was setting.

* * *

><p><strong><em>I still can't get over the fact that Silver is Deliora! Plot twist of the century, that had to be! <em>**

**_*frantically prays that Gray keeps his calm and Lyon doesn't randomly show up just to sacrifice himself*_**

**_You guys must be bored already, but once again, I'm sorry for being a slow updater. All the reviews and PMs were wonderful sources of motivation, thank you._**

**_This chapter felt a bit fast-paced to me, but hey, this is Fairy Tail XD_**

**_As always, Please R & R! :)_**

**_- Dreams_**


	14. Chapter 13 - Closure

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, NaLu, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established (and broken) relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 13 - Closure<em>**

Lyon Vastia had always been a man of confidence. No matter when it came to his abilities, his strength or even his looks, he has never once experienced inferiority and neither has he ever felt insecure. He had never found reason to doubt himself.

That was who Lyon had been and who he continued to be. Truth be told, it was a quality that Gray admired in his elder disciple. Although if you look at it another way, Lyon was probably just your average arrogant bastard. He even prides himself on being able to, quote unquote, fully appreciate who he is.

"I'm not perfect, but face it. I'm pretty awesome."

The first time those words left Lyon's mouth, Gray had gaped at the pure audacity of the man before him and innocently wondered what it took for a person to have such unwavering _loyalty _to oneself. Like, how stuck up could you get?

Thinking back, a random thought was born amidst Gray's memories.

Was Gray a negative influence on Lyon?

Back then on Galuna Island, even when he was on his hands and knees, unable to so much as pull himself to his feet, Lyon had obnoxiously declared that he would defeat Deliora and surpass Ur, because he thought- no, he honestly _believed_ so.

But that same overconfident Lyon, had had his pride torn down by none other than Gray himself.

"_So... I'm not just a convenient substitute?"_

Remembering the unsure expression that sure as hell didn't belong on Lyon's face made Gray's heart ache with an emotion he was still unable to name. Was it guilt? Sorrow? Or was it something more? He did not know.

Somewhat similar to Lyon, Gray liked Lyon the way he was. Gray had not been weaving a lie when he said that Lyon was his base and the only constant in his life.

He did not want to be the unpredictable factor that caused a disturbance in that overbearing yet somehow simultaneously comfortable presence.

Sometimes Gray wondered.

Was their relationship a mistake?

Would it have been better for Lyon if Gray didn't persist on tying him down?

* * *

><p>I love him.<p>

_IlovehimIlovehimIlovehim_.

Natsu rolled on the floor, hugging himself.

_Holy shit, I can't get him out of my mind!_

The thought that Gray and he were no longer an item still ached, but the pain had numbed down a bit. After nearly losing his life for Gray, it was as if the lights had been turned on after an eternity of darkness - everything was bright and clear as day, even a little blinding.

He understood.

He loved Gray with his all, but to force a relationship on the other was immoral.

It wasn't a necessity to be lovers _(but he wanted to, __**damn**__ he wanted to)._

Near-death experiences are odd, magical things. Suddenly your views change, and in a way, you are reborn.

For the first time since the breakup, Natsu felt happy and free.

If Gray and Lyon are in love, then so be it. It was his own fault for not treasuring Gray when he had him.

He had missed out on his one and only shot.

Was he in remorse? Yes. Did he feel indignant? Yes. But was he going to be 'that clingy ex' who was unable to let go? No.

Perhaps to 'let go' was the wrong choice of words. What had Gray written in his letter again...?

_I'm setting you free._

* * *

><p>"Whatcha thinking about?" Lyon wrapped his arms around Gray's waist and made himself comfortable, his chin tucked nicely in the crook of Gray's neck.<p>

"Oh, you know." Gray shrugged. "The usual. How I don't deserve you, how I'm weighing you down. Yada yada."

Lyon let out an exasperated sigh. "We've been over this, Gray."

The younger male sighed right back at him. "I can't help the guilt that eats away at my soul even now."

"Make it up for me then." Lyon flipped him over and in a flash, Gray was on his back, caged in by the larger figure of his lover. A steady flush of pink began spreading across his cheeks when Lyon leaned in to whisper hotly, "I can think of a few... Pleasurable ways."

"Calm your libido, you pervert." Gray avoided his gaze, his lips pursed in an almost-pout.

"Oh?" Lyon was smiling. "And who was the one who approached me for sex because he needed to 'do it every day'?"

Face as red as a tomato, Gray spluttered and kicked Lyon off the bed.

"That was ONE time-"

And so they laughed until they cried. And so they fell in a messy heap, one on top of the other. And so they made out. And so they made love.

Two males, two disciples, two childhood friends.

That night, nobody else existed but them.

Or so the innocent man believed.

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><p>In the wee hours, the rumored darkest time right before dawn, a teen tip-toed out of the door he shared with his most trusted, sparing no backward glance. Stealthily, he sneaked out of the house, his expression unreadable.<p>

He walked at a brisk pace, halting only when he reached his destination. After a brief glance around him to ensure that he was truly alone, the black-haired teen sat down and drew his arms and legs together. A thin vibrating line began emerging from between his shoulder blades, but this was a Mage who did not shiver from the cold.

He struggled. Having held the emotions in for so long, he was convinced that once he was alone, the tears would flow naturally, because that was how it had always been. But no. He felt horrible and he wanted to cry, but his tear ducts stayed dry. Why?

He lowered and buried his head under his arms, the memory of what happened two hours before still fresh in his mind's eye.

_"I love you... Hah... I love you." As Lyon thrust, he maintained eye contact. Panting, he smiled. "I love you, Gray."_

**I am a piece of shit, aren't I?**

Lifting his head to stare at the dry earth before him, Gray wished that the lively and merry river from his childhood was still alive. He loved this place. After all, this was where he had bonded with the fire-breathing idiot for the first time.

Apparently Natsu didn't remember their first encounter all that well, though.

Natsu.

Why was it that this name was the beginning and end of everything?

Gray bit his lip. This was why he had left in the first place.

Natsu who had absurd Sakura-colored hair and a smile so bright it lit up the world and took Gray's breath away. Natsu was so freaking stupid, it made Gray want to punch something.

_Dammit. Why can't I just let you go?_

He had made a solemn promise to himself. Was his resolve that weak, for him to waver that easily? Shit.

_I'm happy now. Lyon loves me. I'm sort of falling for him too. Fuck, it's already pressuring enough with Lyon acting like a goddamn saint who I in no way am worthy of. Why the hell can't I forget you? Why the hell can't I stop being in love with you?_

_I've been with Lyon for a while already. This isn't normal. Why? Why, darn it._

There was an admission Gray wasn't ready to make to himself. That the moment he saw the light in Natsu's eyes flicker and supposedly go off, his whole soul had been wrenched out and twisted into a mangled mess.

Gray had long since accepted that his love for Natsu would never disappear, or at the very least not without a vast amount of time. But for him to utterly lose it in front of everyone like that... It just...

It wasn't right.

They were over.

Left-over feelings should be swept into the dustbin or under the mattress.

_Why_?

Maybe... It was because their break-up hadn't been clean enough? That's right. Perhaps... No, that's definitely it.

_**I need closure.**_

Footsteps stopped in front of the figure huddled to himself, and a dark shadow was cast upon his face. When had morning come?

Hold on.

There it was. The annoying Sakura-colored hair.

Up on his feet quickly, what framed Gray's face was a look of determination.

He was going to get that closure, whether Natsu liked it or not.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Hi guys, and thank you for reading as always! Umm, I have a question for you guys. :3<em>**

**_I have received a suggestion to do alternate endings for this story, a LyoRay one and of course, a Natsu x Gray one. However, I have never done this before and have zero confidence. What do you guys think? Should I stick to one pairing, do alternate endings or write a sequel with a different pairing?_**

**_Just asking for opinions though, the ending of this story is still VERY far away ~_**

**_Do leave a review!_**

**_-Dreams._**


	15. Chapter 14 - Back to Zero

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established (and broken) relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 14 - Back to Zero<strong>_

* * *

><p>-<em>Flashback<em>-

"Hey, Gray."

Biting his lip hard, his eyebrows furrowed, Gray responded with difficulty, "Wh... Wha- _ah_- What?"

"I'm loving the view, but... Could you - _damn it _- hurry up?" Lyon's hands were clenched into fists as he physically restrained himself from reaching out to the naked body above him and - God forbid - slamming the sexy person down until he was buried up to the hilt.

"Sh... Shut up!"

Lyon helpfully explained, "You're _crazy tight_. I swear, it's like your hole is sucking me-"

Cheeks ablaze, Gray yelled loudly, "I said shut the hell up- There!" With one daring, quick motion, he forced himself all the way down.

"FUCK!" The stretch. It burned. So. Bad.

Breath hitching, Lyon couldn't help but moan. "Damn it, were you _that_ starved?"

"Oh god, just stop speaking. Please." Gray covered his face with his hands. "I'm not doing this anymore. Nope. I-"

A chilly yet comforting hand gently moved his hands away to reveal his blushing face. "It's fine. You don't have to."

Gray felt his torso fall back onto the mattress as Lyon sat up to connect their lips, his tongue exploring every nook and cranny of the moist cavern. When they parted, Lyon smiled reassuringly. "Just leave everything to me."

He couldn't help it. The corners of his lips upturned, but warm salty liquid began flowing from his eyes. When the hell did he become so sentimental? It was just a few words.

But...

"Every...thing?" Gray almost croaked out. "Really?"

"Shhh." Lyon caged him in with his arms and whispered, "Yes. Everything."

_You don't have to keep everything to yourself anymore. Let me shoulder it all._

As Lyon began to lick away his tears, Gray asked, "Why?"

_As if you don't know._

Ever serious, Lyon made eye contact with the man he loved. "Because you're the most important person in the world to me."

_Stop this, Lyon. The more you love me... The more I feel like I don't deserve you. I know you said that it doesn't matter, but it does. It matters to me, okay?_

Pushing the thoughts to a dark corner of his mind, Gray smiled. "I wish I could say the same."

The moment the words left his mouth, Gray's eyes widened in horror when his brain finally caught up.

"Shit, I... Sorry, Lyon, it just slipped-" at the look on his lover's face, Gray panicked. "Shit, I made it worse, didn't I. Lyon, I- _aaah_!"

His sentence was cut of by a strong and sudden surge of pain and pleasure through his body.

Wordlessly, Lyon had pulled out from Gray and plunged forcefully all the way back in without warning.

"Dammit Lyon, I can't believe you! Here I am trying to apologize and- mmph."

Soft lips moulded over his own in a chaste kiss.

The elder man pulled away and commented, "You talk way too much during sex."

Noticing Gray's scandalized expression, he continued, "I know that I'm not the one you love." After a brief pause, he added,"Yet. But that's okay. Because you want to fall in love me. You're trying. And that's all I need."

Bottom lip quivering, Gray murmured, "There you go again. Mr. Saint."

"... For now anyway. Gray, open your mouth."

Surprised by the request that came out of the blue, Gray complied instinctively. When he both saw and felt what was stuffed into his mouth, his eyes widened.

"I'm sorry Gray, but I'm afraid I'll have to gag you today."

Gray's heart was running a mile a minute. _What. The. Fuck. When did Lyon get into kinky stuff?_ Gaze directed towards his lover's face, he was unable to comprehend what those cold eyes were trying to tell him.

Then his legs were lifted, the hands lingering on his thighs way too long to have been unintentional before placing them over broad shoulders.

There was nothing he could do. Not that he wanted to change anything. Lyon began setting a steady pace, thrusting in and out, his length hitting Gray's prostate spot on time and again.

His moans muffled by the gag, Gray shut his eyes. The pleasure was overwhelming. Soon, he found himself thrusting up to meet Lyon's movements.

They made love in silence until the silver-haired man decided to break it.

"I love you... Hah... I love you." As Lyon thrust, he maintained eye contact. Panting, he smiled. "I love you, Gray."

Gray wanted to tell him that he was falling in love with him too, but the gag was hindering him.

"So... Don't say anything. I don't want you to say anything." Was that a practically palpable shiver he detected in his voice? "It's fine like this. _Shit_, I'm coming-"

Gray felt Lyon's semen overflowing his insides, and the stimulation sent him over the edge as well. His back raising off the bed in a perfect arch, he released mutely for the first time.

The gag in his mouth was yanked out abruptly with unfamiliar roughness, and a hot mouth covered his. Lyon kissed him passionately, their teeth clashing and their tongues practically battling each other.

Once the kiss ended, Gray opened his mouth to speak. Before he had the opportunity to do so, however, Lyon grabbed him by his bangs and clashed their foreheads together painfully, kissing him again.

"Don't...say a word." Lyon panted. "Don't smash my dream and illusion into pieces. Not today. I refuse to hear his name today."

Gray couldn't even feel offended. He couldn't shut the truth behind him, lock the door and throw the key away. He had always run away from Natsu, he couldn't run away from Lyon now. He absolutely will not let history repeat itself.

He buried his face into Lyon's chest and let his heavy eyelids flutter shut, uttering only one word before letting sleep claim him.

_Baka_.

* * *

><p>"Natsu."<p>

"Gray? What are you doing out here so early?" Natsu replied enthusiastically, his lips stretched into his signature smile.

"That's not important. Natsu, we need to talk."

"Talk then." The grin never left Natsu's features.

Without hesitation, Gray announced, "I'm breaking up with you."

Natsu's look switched to one of pure confusion. "Huh? Gray, do you have amnesia or something? You did that ages ago." His eye narrowed, "What, is rubbing salt into the wound fun?"

"No, I just..." Gray threw a hand in the air, making flustered gestures. "It's pointless for me to even try to explain anyway, it's too complicated for your unicellular pea-brain to understand."

Rising to the provocation, Natsu stepped up immediately, disregarding Gray's personal space. "Whatcha just say, Exhibitionist?"

The ice Mage returned the glare at full force. "I said that you're stupid. What, something wrong with your ears now, Pointy Eyes?"

"Oh, you're on. You're fucking on, Ice Princess." Natsu pulled his fist back as if to punch the teen before him, then...

Bopped Gray affectionately on the nose.

Laughing happily, Natsu pointed at Gray's stupefied face. "I got you good, didn't I, Droopy Eyes?"

Anger and fury that were absent for so long it almost felt foreign began accumulating in his stomach.

"You asshole!" Gray punched the dragon slayer so hard he was thrown back and landed a few feet away.

A tiny container flew out from Natsu's pocket and began rolling away.

"NO!"

Natsu's fear-stricken tone caused Gray to move automatically. He barely managed to close his fingers over the pink box before it could fall between the bars of a drain.

When he turned back to face Natsu, Gray almost worried for the pink-haired teen's health.

His face pale, he was sweating profusely. On top of that, he looked aghast.

"What, this thing important to you?" Curious, Gray inquired.

Quick as lightning, Natsu recovered. Blushing slightly, he tried to snatch it from Gray's hand. "Give it back."

Although the thought hurt, Gray couldn't refrain from teasing, "This thing's bright pink. Did Lucy give it to you, lover boy?"

"Lu... Lucy? No!" Denying furiously, Natsu made for the box again.

"Let me see..."

Fully expecting some kind of girly accessory, nothing could have prepared Gray for what he saw.

"..."

Speechless, Gray stared at the ice and flame rings lying innocently one on top of the other.

"There, you've seen it, happy? Now give it back." Reddening to the tips of his ears, Natsu shut the velvet box with a sharp 'bang' and stuffed it back into his pocket.

"You... You still have those?" Gray's voice was laced with embarrassment and maybe, just a little bit of happiness.

"I carry them with me every day."

Shit, now Gray was blushing.

"Don't ask me why." Natsu muttered quickly. Nervously, he waited for Gray's reaction.

Gray regarded Natsu for a few moments. The frown on his face was like cold water poured on top of the fire in Natsu's heart.

"Don't be stupid, Natsu."

_Ah. So it came to this._

Sadly, Natsu hung his head. "Sorry."

"You idiot, don't just bring them everywhere! What if you lose them? Flamebrain." Gray socked him over the head and laughed.

A surge of relief rushed through Natsu's veins. Hopefully, he asked, "Do you... Want yours back?" _Please say yes._

The black-haired teen shook his head dismissively. "Nah. You keep it for me."

"Okay then."

They stared at each other in comfortable silence.

"You know, Gray..."

"Yeah?"

"I miss talking to you like this. Carefree, with a light mood, just enjoying each other."

"The fuck was that last one."

"I miss bantering with you. Those imbecilic quarrels, I miss them so much."

"..."

"I miss fighting you. It's not the same with other people. It's meaningless when it's not you."

"Okay, what brought this up." _Stop blushing!_

"I miss living with you. I mean, Happy's great and all but well... Again, he's not you."

"Natsu..."

"Oh, and I miss fucking-"

"Don't make me freeze your ass!"

"Heh."

"..."

Slowly, Natsu walked forward and pulled Gray into a warm embrace. "I miss you. I miss you so much."

Motionless. Gray simply allowed himself to be hugged. "Yeah. As much as I hate to admit it, me too."

They stayed like that for a while until something clicked in Gray's thoughts.

"Wait. What about Lucy?"

"Lu...Lucy? What do you mean?" Natsu let out an unnatural laugh. "What does Lucy have to do with us?"

Gray looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

"You're dating her, aren't you?"

"Wha... What? I think you're misunderstanding something, Gray..."

"Misunderstanding?" Okay, now Gray's pissed. "The fuck is there to misunderstand. You love her, you cheated on me with her, I broke up with you. End of story."

"Who told you that, Gray? I swear..."

"Nobody." Coldly, Gray pushed him away. "I saw it with my own eyes."

"Wha... What? Where?"

"The question should be _which. _There were so many times, Natsu. Fuck, and you think I didn't know. How stupid do you take me for, you ass! Did you think I was the only one unaware?"

"I... Wait, the only one?" Flabbergasted.

Gray was on a roll. "You didn't even cover up. You had the nerve to parade those... Hickeys, for everyone to see! Wake the fuck up! Everybody knows!"

"I... Gray, I... I'm..."

"'Sorry'? You don't have to be. Because guess what?"

Dammit, things were _not_ going the way they were supposed to be.

"You're not the only one that cheated. Remember my birthday? That important day you forgot? Well, you wouldn't fuck me so I got someone who would. I can't even describe how _good_ it felt when Lyon fucked me into the mattress. For your information, he's better than you!"

He had no idea what he was saying. The words formulated and were out before he knew it. There were little thought and truth in what he said. Spite. Choose the words that would hurt. Choose the words that impact the pride and the heart. Defense. This was defense. He didn't care what Natsu thought of him, didn't care what he sounded like. All he knew was that there was no way he would continue holding up his icy shield, doing nothing.

No. This shield had grown spikes.

_Fast. Too fast._

Nearly unable to keep up with the conversation, naturally Natsu grasped at what was the easiest to focus on.

"Gray Fullbuster. Did you just say that you cheated on me?" Was he growling?

"Where'd that dragon super hearing go? Yes, I cheated on you," Gray spat.

**Snap**.

Everything from that point on was a blur.

Natsu couldn't see. He couldn't control his emotions and actions.

All he knew was that he was _hurt_. It _hurt_ so much. So he wanted to _hurt_. That sounded nice. Yes, he would _hurt_.

* * *

><p><em>It shouldn't be like this.<em>

_I had an epiphany._

_I should be fine with you not being mine._

_I should be protecting you from harm._

_I should not be... Doing this._

_Don't cry. Please._

* * *

><p><em>Closure?<em>

_Bullshit._

_It's just the beginning._

_Isn't it?_

_Natsu._

_Fuck._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Greetings everyone! (dodges the rotten eggs chucked her way) I'm back. To make up for my disappearance, here is a smutty, long chapter.<strong>_

_**(SPOILER)**_

_**OMGomgOMG My Gray *coughs* looks so perfect! Glad that Silver left a parting gift for Gray. Damn. So happy that Gray got a power up from none other than Otou-sama himself!**_

_**Anyway, I'm honestly surprised that LyoRay outvoted NatsuxGray. I didn't expect that. However, a lot of you are up for alternate endings, so I'm pretty sure I'm going with that. Not revealing which one comes first tho XD**_

_**_** I apologize for not being able to reply personally to the reviews this time around too.**_Thank you for sticking with me, thank you for reading.I hope you can hang around until the end :)**_

_**The trials are on me, I probably won't be updating that soon. But as always, reviews=motivation ;)**_

_**- Dreams**_


	16. Chapter 15 - To Forgive

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established (and broken) relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 15 - To Forgive<em>**

Gone. Gone again.

Lyon kept his back turned, choosing to ignore the stinging in his heart when once again, his lover left him to wake up alone. It didn't even hurt that much anymore.

He got used to it.

And he doesn't think that's a good thing.

Lyon Vastia was all about pride. Pride as a man, pride as Lamia Scale's S class Mage, pride as Ur's disciple, pride as Gray's senior (which he never admitted to any soul other than himself).

Suffice to say, he did not find Gray trampling his precious pride time and time again all that pleasing.

Had he not loved Gray as he did, he would never have allowed himself to be used this way.

_Gosh. Gray is an awesome person, but when it comes to romance, he totally sucks._

_..._

_He's worth it, though._

_He's worth my everything._

* * *

><p><em>Get off me, Natsu.<br>_

_I love you, but... No._

_Not like this._

_Never like this._

_You'll regret it more than I will._

_Get off me, for your own good._

_Fuck, am I crying?_

Gray blinked in attempt to clear his vision. He wanted so badly to speak, to drill some sense into Natsu, alas, his throat was dry and his tongue tied. One moment he was steaming with anger and frustration, the next all those emotions evaporated into thin air.

None of the two have spoken. Not since the animalistic attack that sent both of them tumbling to the ground, finally rolling to a stop with the ferocious Dragon Slayer on top.

_Mine, MIne, MINE. You are mine._

Natsu kept his mouth shut tight, but his thoughts were so freaking loud. Gray knew. He knew exactly what was running through his ex-boyfriend's head. All things considered, he truly wished he didn't, wished he had never loved the man so much he paid way too much attention on his every act and expression- to the point of understanding him at the most random of times without the need of words to be said. Had he never done so, perhaps he would have been able to save them both.

Perhaps his brain would have sent signals to his muscles to move, hit him, shove him, to _do_ something instead of lying docile underneath, letting the man maneuver his body and do whatever he desired.

Had the situation not been so maddening, Gray might have laughed out loud, jeered at himself. It wasn't even like he couldn't move due to shock.

No, this was a choice.

He didn't know when and why he made it, but the truth glared at him.

This was _his_ choice.

Reflecting Natsu's actions before this madness, Gray ventured, no, more like entertained a thought. His former lover may have tried to free him, to let him go.

_Well, if he did try, he's definitely taking it back now._

_I said I wanted closure, but do I really?_

_I freed him before, but do I want to be freed?_

_Damn it, I'm like a love-sick girl. This fucker keeps messing with my head, taking control of my mind._

_Whatever's going through my head can be dealt with later. First things first..._

With little effort since he wasn't exactly restrained, Gray brought his right fist to his left palm, noting that Natsu didn't even bat an eyelid.

Silently wording his chant, he felt the usual surge of magic through him whenever he channeled. Slamming his hands to the ice-cold ground, he idly watched as ice surrounded them like a hollow hemisphere, caging them in.

At least no one would bear witness. Gray's ice wasn't a hundred percent transparent, a passer-by would hopefully pass it off as the two of them brawling instead of a one-sided attack.

"...d."

Returning his gaze, Gray asked softly, "What?"

Natsu didn't look mad now, he looked...sad. And was that a trace of guilt?

That sure was sudden. He seemed to have forgotten the reason for his anger as well. Ah, that was how it always had been between them. Fight. Yell. Forget. An endless loop.

"Respond." It was louder, this time, the syllables clear, but still meek.

Slowly, Gray's arms wrapped around Natsu's strong muscled back.

Dry, chipped lips covered his own, and he heard Natsu - sensed his thoughts.

_And please stop crying._

The dragon slayer seemed to have shrunk as he muttered almost childishly against the lips he had missed for so long, " 'm not a monster. Wanted to hurt you... But I can't. Not you. Never you. Wanna protect you."

Feeling a smile tug at the corners of his mouth, Gray whispered back, "I can protect myself."

The answer was immediate, "I know. But I still wanna protect you." Then he sniffed loudly, "Thank god." Tightening his hold on the other man, he spoke with obvious relief, "Thank god I didn't hurt you. "

_Why are we here again?_

Pushing the thought to the depths of his mind, Gray jabbed at him half-heartedly, "Nah, you don't have it in you. If anything, I'll be the one wiping the floor with you."

He wasn't expecting Natsu to respond, but the dragon slayer did, hiding a smile (but failing) as he did so, "Oh really? We'll see about that when we get back."

Faltering a bit, the raven voiced out his question, "Back? Back where?"

This time the fire Mage's lips spread into a wide smile. "Come with me." With no prior notice, he sprung up like a spring that had been compressed for way too long. Since Gray had his arms around him, he was pulled up as well, until his hold loosened and he was falling, falling.

A warm hand grasped his cold one, and suddenly he was on his feet, running, running. His eyebrow twitched when he noticed the massive gaping hole in the ice dome he had made, but soon the irritation was the last thing on his mind. The scenery blurred past him, his attention solely on his lover... Former lover that yanked him along none-too-gently with glee, a joyful bounce in each step.

When they came to a stop, Gray slowly shifted his gaze from Natsu to the building in front of him. Without missing a beat, he rolled his eyes.

"Why are we here, Natsu." There was no questioning in his tone.

The fire Mage beamed like the sun. Releasing Gray's hand, he plodded to the door of the house and fumbled around for a bit before producing a key and entering. At the sight of the key, Gray's eyebrows rose.

**Bang**.

_...Wait, what?_

_Did that idiot just slam the door on me?_

Fuming, Gray tramped his way to the all too familiar door and grabbed the doorknob. Turning it forcefully, he pushed the door open and opened his mouth to...

"Okaeri!"

_Huh?_

Natsu was sitting on the sofa, his eyes shining as he piped up again, "Okaeri!"

It came like second nature.

"Tadaima."

The clogs began turning. He couldn't mean...

Gray stared.

Natsu nodded, still grinning like a child who got what he wanted for Christmas.

Then Gray was laughing, not a bark of laughter as usual, more like a soft chuckle.

"Natsu."

He tested the syllables on his tongue.

"Tadaima." _I'm home._

Natsu leapt up and pranced towards him, instantly capturing him in a suffocating hug. Burying his head into the crook of Gray's neck, Natsu replied happily, "Okaeri."

_Welcome home._

* * *

><p>Two figures stumbled into the bedroom door, kissing desperately. The taller man flung the other onto the bed and turned his back on him, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing off his pants at the speed of light. Bare naked, he turned back, only to meet with the gaze of a very hungry dragon slayer that had, without a doubt, been staring at his bottom.<p>

He didn't even have the modesty to blush.

He wanted him.

He would have him.

And both knew that the other was thinking the exact same thing. Their way of thinking had always been similar, after all.

It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.

But that wasn't important.

All that mattered was each other.

A small voice was telling Gray that what he was about to do was wrong, but he was too lost in the moment to care. No, he was lost in Natsu... Lost in his smile, his warmth, his touch.

Lost in the love he had tried to dispose of for so long.

He had missed Natsu.

He hadn't meant to, but it wasn't like he could help it.

Love just doesn't go away because you tell it to.

Looking at Natsu now, he remembered how it felt like to be with this person. To wake up and watch that adorable sleeping face each morning. To kick him off the bed just because he wanted to and start a friendly morning brawl. To cook Natsu breakfast and elbow him whenever he tried to hug him from behind.

He had been happy. He had felt blessed.

Gray had known it all along, but that moment, the fact stood out to him clear as day.

Gray Fullbuster would never love anyone like he loved Natsu Dragneel.

He was drawn back to what was happening when Natsu breathed in his ear, "I'm gonna put a finger in you."

A quick nod, "Just do it."

The pink-haired man shook his head, "No. I'm not going to 'just do' this. I want this to be right. I want it to go perfectly. I want this to be something both of us will savour forever."

That said, he clumsily stuffed three fingers into his own mouth and began sucking noisily.

Gray simply watched and laughed, highly amused. "You oaf. As if I can forget a time with you and your stupid self. You're ruining the moment."

Releasing the fingers with a 'pop', Natsu whined, "I'm not. _You're_ the one ruining it, Ice Princess. Stop laughing."

"I will when you stop pouting, Slanty Eyes."

"Shut up, Droopy Eyes."

"Sulphur Breath."

"Ice Block."

"Flame Brain."

"Mr. Underwear."

"Shitty Flame."

"My lover."

"Ash for Brains... _What_?"

"My lover." Natsu repeated, staring at him intently. Gray could feel his cheeks reddening. The dragon slayer continued seriously, "I love you."

Staring right back, Gray replied, "Well, I love you too!" He made it sound like he was continuing their banter to cover up his embarrassment.

"Love you more."

"Love you most."

"No, _I_ love you most."

"Shut up, _I_ love _you_ most. I just said that. Come up with a new one."

"One."

"Huh?"

"One finger. You ready?"

"What? Ow!"

Natsu reverted to pouting. "I thought you finally relaxed."

Resisting the urge to punch him, Gray opted to say, "Two."

Understanding immediately, Natsu added a finger and began a scissoring motion carefully. Once he received a nod, he increased the number yet again.

The pink-haired Mage connected their lips in a chaste kiss. "Just to clear things up. I wasn't saying those things just to let you relax. I meant every word. You're the one and only for me. I love you, Gray Fullbuster, and you only."

Gray kissed him back, "I know, idiot. I know." Willingly spreading his legs as wide as they could go, he whispered, "But it won't hurt to prove it to me. Make love to me, Natsu."

Natsu did just that.

As they made love, Natsu rained kisses all over Gray's body, repeated the words "I love you" over and over.

After they climaxed, they lay on the soft bed facing each other. Gray tangled his fingers into the pink hair and uttered softly, "I forgive you, Natsu."

Natsu hummed, almost asleep.

As if afraid he would change his mind if he didn't say the words again, Gray repeated.

"I forgive you."

* * *

><p><strong><em>I'm back, guys! You might have forgotten this story already, and if so, I'm afraid you'll have to reread XD<em>**

**_I know that the part where Natsu attacked is still unclear, but it was meant to be that way. Whatever Natsu's intentions were, you can interpret it for yourself._******

**_Good news, the exams are finally over! I'll be free until February next year, so this means I'll be updating a lot more frequently. Thanks for being patient with me._**

**_The hiatus is officially over!_**

**_Thank you for reading,_**

**_Dreams._**


	17. Chapter 16 - Rocky Start, Rocky End

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established (and broken) relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 16 - Rocky Start, Rocky End<em>**

_Surprise, surprise! Double update, guys! To make up for my disappearance._

* * *

><p>It was always nice to do something without a second thought or a care in the world, to just let your instincts take over and do what you enjoyed most in the spur of the moment.<p>

Yes, it was nice... Until you remember the consequences of your actions, until everything comes back to bite you in the ass.

A prime example would be his good friend Cana who once got so drunk even _she_ got a hangover in the morning and wasn't able to so much as touch her beloved alcohol for a whole week.

When the deed was over and done with, you would suddenly wake up and see how badly you messed up.

Sitting up on the huge fluffy bed, Gray cast a lingering gaze at the naked man sleeping peacefully beside him.

A pale hand buried itself in pink hair and began ruffling it absent-mindedly.

_We're quite the messed-up pair, aren't we._

_I who couldn't put up with cheating and broke up with you just to do the same to another person I deeply treasure, and you who... Who..._

The hand withdrew quickly, only to rest on Gray's mouth as he covered it to prevent a shocked cry from making it through his lips.

_No. Not now. Why? Not that memory. No!_

Cruelly, a despised portion of his memories cut themselves loose and presented them right before his eyes.

* * *

><p><em>A strong hand pinning him to the wall by his neck. Choking him. He was suffocating.<em>

_His legs, kicked apart against his will, and a voice that he usually loved sent chills to the very core of his bones._

_"I should fuck you. Just pin you down, spread your legs like this and fuck you till you scream. You're strong, Gray. But not as strong as **me**."_

* * *

><p>Gray gasped loudly, finally returning to the real world. His eyes searched desperately for a source of comfort, but when the first person that came in sight was <em>Natsu<em>, he scrambled off the bed so fast he fell down with an audible 'thump'.

_Help. Lyon... Lyon!_

Panicking, he glanced at the bed for any movement.

None. Thank goodness Natsu was a heavy sleeper.

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, the ice Mage tried to calm himself, but his mind was running a mile a minute, piecing the facts together.

_This relationship of ours isn't healthy._

_Twice._

_Twice has this man attacked me._

_I always knew Natsu was dangerous, but these recent happenings are on another level._

_Possessiveness shouldn't drive someone to that degree._

_Fuck, he nearly broke Lyon's facial bones last time._

_Natsu... Natsu..._

Black eyes widened as he came to a scary conclusion.

**Natsu isn't emotionally stable.**

This idea should have sent him running, but for some reason he was calmer than ever before.

_He needs help._

"Gray? What are you doing down there?"

Wordlessly, he picked himself off the ground, ashamed by his behavior.

"Natsu. We need to talk."

Yawning, Natsu patted the space beside himself on the bed, urging him to sit. "Shoot."

_There is no roundabout way to do this. I have no choice but to be straightforward._

Staying where he was and keeping his distance, Gray kept his tone level. "Natsu. I'm sure you've noticed this by now. You have issues."

Rubbing the drowsiness out of his eyes, Natsu yawned again. "I'm sorry, what?"

Clicking his tongue, Gray tried again. "You have issues, Natsu. You have troubles keeping your emotions in check. "

At the confused expression on the other's face, Gray stepped forward indignantly, "Listen to me, Shitty Flame!"

Sighing, he began elaborating. "You're too possessive. It's not healthy, Natsu. After we broke up, you tried to..." He winced, "Take me by force. Twice. And both of those times had to do with Lyon."

Taking on an analytical tone so as not to sound cryptic, he explained, "The first time, he was making out with me. The second, I told you I had sex with him. You attacked me, Natsu. And those weren't even normal fights. You were out for my neck. You could have killed me."

Natsu was silent.

Gray emphasized, "You're emotionally unstable, Natsu."

"Are you saying that I'm crazy?" He didn't sound too upset. Good, he was listening.

"Not crazy, emotionally unstable."

"That's basically the same thing, isn't it?"

"No, it's ... Natsu?"

Natsu got off the bed and walked towards him, his facial features rearranging themselves into what seemed to be a sneer, but not quite. A sneer shouldn't be full of hurt.

"You finally accepted me again, and the next day... Heck, it's still the same day! You start telling me I've gone crazy. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

"... Sorry. Point is, Natsu, what I'm saying is true. I want to help-"

"No. You're finding excuses to drive me away. So you can go back to Lyon." Natsu looked downright miserable. "See? I can say his name, no biggie."

_I remember reading somewhere that those emotionally stable will never be healed unless they take the first step - admitting it to themselves. I have no idea how true that statement goes, but I'm willing to bet on it._

"Natsu. Don't twist my words. I love you, I want to help you. Well, " Gray waved a hand in the air, "This isn't really in my field of expertise, so I might have to ask the guild members - The old man, or maybe Porlyusica -"

Cutting him off rudely, Natsu growled, "Haven't you said enough, Gray? As if it wasn't enough to imply that I've gone insane, you suggest announcing it to the guild."

"You're missing the point-"

"There _is_ no point. This conversation is over."

"I-"

"Please, Gray. Please." The pink-haired man looked about to burst into tears.

"I just..."

"You're the one who told me I wasn't a monster, Gray." Natsu bit his lip. "It meant the world to me, I've been suspecting things myself," _Like the time I sent my fist through that guy's intestines_, "But you were the one who reassured me I was still me. Please. Don't take that back now."

Carefully, knowing he was treading on thin ice, Gray spoke, "I'm not taking it back. I just need you to understand that you have issues, and-"

"Stop talking!"

"No, you need help-"

"I SAID STOP TALKING!"

"See? You're not stable. Please Natsu. We need to remedy this before it's too late, I'm sure Porlyusica can-"

"GET OUT. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

Unwisely, Gray reached out for Natsu's arm, "Natsu-"

"I AM NOT A MONSTER! STOP FORCING ME TO BE ONE!"

Gray was sent flying, and crashed against the wall so hard it was a wonder it did not fall apart. Scrambling to his feet, he wondered if he had made the wrong decision.

"Just listen! You're _not_ a monster! _I love you_! That's why-" Before he could finish the sentence, he was forced out the room and out of the house, the lock turning on the other side.

He sighed.

There was nothing he could do now. Natsu didn't have a clear head at that point, he needed time to cool down.

Plus... Gray had other demons to conquer.

He stared at the dark sky above. It was getting late. Better get back to Lyon's...

_Lyon._

_What should I do?_

* * *

><p>Kicking his boots aside, he entered the living room.<p>

"You're back."

Lyon took off his reading glasses and placed the newspaper on the table. His eyes scanned Gray's figure, taking in the disheveled-ness. He sighed, "Come on, you need a bath."

As he guided Gray to the bathroom, he started making light conversation. "I received a request today - by name no less! They want us," Lyon smiled, "The Ice Brothers, they call us. Ain't that sweet?"

Gray nodded.

"I already told the woman we'd go tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Shower's on, in you go." When Gray didn't move, Lyon cocked his head to the side. "What? You want me to go in with you?"

"Lyon... We need to talk." Gray visibly cringed at the similarity with the talk he had with Natsu that didn't exactly go well.

"Shower first." As though he was trying to avoid something, Lyon shoved Gray through the shower curtains. "And don't come out until you're squeaky clean."

Honestly, Gray was sorely tempted to postpone the talk as well. Plus a shower did sound mighty fine.

_No._

_I promised myself._

_I could run away from anyone else in this world, but not him.  
><em>

_I made a promise to never run away from Lyon Vastia. I intend on keeping that promise._

He stretched his arm outside and yanked Lyon into the showers with him.

"If you wanted to shower together, you could have asked." Lyon raised an eyebrow.

"Lyon... It's about Natsu."

Stiffening, the smirk disappeared from Lyon's face. "What about Salamander?"

"You're smarter than me, you should have worked it out sooner."

Lyon frowned. "What is it?"

"He needs help, Lyon."

The elder man huffed, "That he does."

"I mean it. He's emotionally unstable. His emotions are all over the place, it scares me a bit. If we don't do something about it now, I can't imagine what would happen when he gets triggered again."

Listening intently, Lyon nodded. He had to be mature about this. Ignore the fact that Gray had stolen out of the house to meet his ex-boyfriend.

Catching a tiny keyword, he inquired, "Triggered again? Does that mean he was triggered today?"

Gray sighed, "Yeah. Attacked me when I told him about us."

Although the statement worried Lyon, he was instantly soothed by the fact that Gray was standing in front of him, unharmed. He grinned. "That jealous idiot."

"He doesn't want help. He refuses to admit that he has problems. What should I do, Lyon?"

"He's not your responsibility, Gray." Lyon furrowed his eyebrows. "But this became our business the moment he attacked you. I haven't forgotten what happened last time."

"No, not my responsibility, but..." _Here goes. I'm sorry._ "I love him."

Lyon did not even blink. "What else is new?"

"No, I... We got back together. " _At least, I _think_ we did. _"Lyon, I'm so sorry."

The snowy-haired Mage turned his head, staring at the tiles of the wall.

"I was expecting as much." He grit his teeth, "Every day, I wonder if it's the last I share with you. Every morning, I wake up worrying you'll leave me. This has just been a countdown."

Leaning his forehead against the wall, he asked, "Do you remember the deal for living here?"

Gray nodded. Remembering that Lyon couldn't see him, he replied, "Yes. The non-refundable promise of a lifetime. To repay you with love."

"Well, I forfeit."

"Lyon..."

"Don't worry. I got quite a lot out of it. You did try. And I'm positive that I occupy a special place in your heart."

Turning to Gray, Lyon flicked him on the forehead.

"Deal's off. You don't have to pay me anymore." He smiled almost brokenly. "But I... Get out of here. And destroy the door plate while you're at it. You don't live here anymore, Gray. Like I said, deal's off."

Without another word, Gray stepped out of the showers. "I do love you, you know."

"I know. That makes it worse. Now shoo."

Listening to the footsteps fading away, Lyon pressed his forehead against the wall again.

_I couldn't be mature about this after all._

_Good luck with Natsu, Gray._

_I'm leaving for a bit. That mission sounded really awesome, too bad you never got to hear the details._

_We're still the Ice Brothers, aren't we?_

_Maybe when I come back, and you have everything with Natsu sorted out, we could go on a mission again._

_... Maybe._

* * *

><p><strong><em>I am in no way promoting abusive, unhealthy relationships, guys. If you are abused, get away from that person immediately.<em>**

**_- Dreams_**


	18. Chapter 17 - Victims of Love

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established (broken, and patched-up) relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 17 - Victims of Love<em>**

_In the beginning, I tried to warn you_

_You play with fire, it's gonna burn you_

"Gray."

_And here we are now, same situation_

_You never listen, I never listen_

_"_Yeah, Natsu?" There was a weak smile on his lover's face that didn't quite reach his eyes.

He buried his head in the other man's bare chest, voicing what sounded almost like a plea. "Stay with me."

A gentle hand began rubbing his back soothingly, but the action failed to serve its purpose. Natsu had felt the way Gray had stiffened. Was he...scared...of him? No, that wasn't it. He was anything but scared.

Untangling himself from their awkward embrace, Gray set his foot on the floor. "I'm just gonna get some tea."

Staring at his lover's muscled back as he exited, Natsu wondered if Gray had always been this strong, this calm and collected, this... Icy.

_Now you've backtracked, you're running away_

_Cause it just happened again, and you just want it to end_

_Trying your best not to let yourself go cold, so cold_

The sound of even footsteps snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Here."

He accepted the teacup and slowly brought it to his lips, smiling when he noticed that the temperature was just the way he wanted it. After emptying the cup with a few quick sips, he watched again as Gray wordlessly reached out for the cup and set it on the table beside them.

Dark eyes studied him intently, and the pale lips parted to speak.

"Always."

Natsu's jaw dropped and his eyes widened.

"Re... Really?" He croaked.

"Always," Gray repeated. Then he crossed his arms and began tapping his fingers on his bicep, clicking his tongue. "You shouldn't be this startled."

_Now you think about the things you thought you wanted to say_

_But when you open out your mouth it don't come out that way_

_Do you really wanna throw your heart away?_

A tongue flicked out to moisten his dry lips.

"You're not just saying this 'cause you know that's what I need to hear right now, right?"

Wow.

Gray looked hella offended.

"I mean, yeah, of course you're not. Always and forever, heh."

Even to himself, the words sounded forced. Pursing up his lips, Natsu turned his head to the side.

He heard a resigned sigh that sounded way too close-

"Honestly, you're an idiot, Natsu."

As the other side of the bed slumped when Gray sat down beside him, he mentally restrained himself from reaching out and pulling the other close. He didn't want to-

"You're the one afraid, Natsu."

"...huh?"

"Look at me."

Reluctantly, he turned to face the all too serious expression of his lover. Those black eyes he loved so much shined with determination. Gesturing to the tiny space between them, Gray continued, "There has been this invisible wall between us since yesterday. It almost feels as if you're even further away than before. Why do people build walls, Natsu?"

"Because they have weird interests?"

"It was a rhetorical question! Now shut up."

"Okay."

"We build walls to protect ourselves. I can just tell from that pathetic expression that you think I'm scared of you - but I'm not. _You_ are the one scared out of your mind. I know you." His eyes softened, "You're scared of hurting me."

Natsu stared at Gray as if he had said something normal and unnecessary like "Humans breathe".

The pink-haired man tightened his gaze on his lover and replied, "Of course I'm scared! I told you before... I'm a mo... I don't want to hurt you."

"Natsu." Gray looked as calm as ever.

Balling his hands into fists, Natsu wondered if it was the calm before the storm.

Gray surprised him by placing a firm hand on his bare shoulder.

"Give me your worst."

.

.

.

_What?_

_"_Wha... What do you mean?"

"Exactly as I said." Gray did not look like he was joking. "Hurt me."

Natsu began shaking his head furiously.

Gray continued seriously, "Hurt me. And I'll hurt you back." He smiled softly,

"That has always been our routine, hasn't it?"

"That's different!" Natsu spluttered, what was going on in Gray's mind?!

Another cold hand caught his own and brought it to Gray's chest, resting it directly upon his dark blue Fairy Tail emblem.

"I trust you, Natsu." Gray's smile never faltered. "I trust you to know our limits, to not go too far. To not break me." He then cocked his head to the side, "As an afterthought, I'm not that easily broken anyway." He cupped Natsu's face gently and leaned in.

"So give me your worst."

Natsu shivered when they kissed, and began laughing the moment they broke apart for air.

"You... You're an idiot, Gray."

Tears were flowing down his face. Was he laughing, or was he crying? Was he happy, or was he upset?

Either way, he could not bring himself to care.

_Everybody's hurt somebody before,_

_Everybody's been hurt by somebody before, _

_You can change but you'll always come back for more,_

_It's a game and we're all just victims of love. _

Natsu shook his head again.

He pulled Gray close and connected their lips for a second time.

_Don't try to fight it, victims of love._

_You can't decide it, victims of love._

There would come a time in the near future when Natsu and Gray would laugh in each other's arms, finding humor in how messed up they were.

They certainly were messed up.

But they had each other, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

><p><strong><em>This was a pretty short chapter, but I felt that it was sufficient to convey what exactly was going on between Natsu and Gray at the moment. Both are hopelessly in love with each other, and both know that they have issues (Natsu being overly possessive to the point of getting violent, Gray being <span>okay<span> with that possessiveness and violence when he shouldn't be); there is something wrong with both of them, but they have each other._**

**_Please follow, favorite or review! _**

**_- Dreams _**


	19. Chapter 18 - To Change (Ending N)

_**Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.**_

_**Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)**_

_**Rating : M for sexual content.**_

_**Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.**_

**_Natsu x Gray, established (broken, and patched-up) relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 18 - To Change (Ending N)<em>**

Lying on the mattress, facing each other, Gray smiled and stroked Natsu's pink hair affectionately. He announced happily, "I changed my mind."

His lover looked inquiringly at him while leaning into the gentle touch subconsciously.

"Before, I would never let you see me like this. I was so self-conscious, so insecure, so sure that your love for me wasn't one hundred percent. I feared letting you know that I loved you to the point of no return."

Gray chuckled softly. "I suppose my inkling had been correct - you did not love me back then - not like your love for Lucy."

Chewing on his bottom lip ferociously to prevent himself from butting in, Natsu simply nodded guiltily.

"That doesn't bother me now. I had all the reassurance I needed." Gray wrapped his arms around Natsu's torso, "You're just as much smitten with me as I am with you - almost dangerously so."

Natsu smiled weakly. "We both have it bad, don't we."

"Terrible," Gray replied, starting to snicker.

And for some reason Natsu began doing the same.

Fighting down his laughter, Gray declared, "If we're going to Porlyusica, we're going together." He pondered for a split second then continued, "On second thought, let's not. So what if we're not the most sane of couples? We'll work something out. We always do."

Nodding, Natsu grinned back.

They snuggled close, inhaling each other's scent, basking in each other's presence.

After a while, Gray murmured under his breath, "Natsu?"

"Hmm?"

"Nothing, just confirming you're still there. That I'm not dreaming - I'm awfully drowsy."

Natsu pulled him even closer, if that was even possible with their current proximity.

"Gray, I'll always be by your side. Always."

Gray let out a soft hum, one foot already in dreamland.

Natsu grinned yet again and pecked him on the nose.

"Forever."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Three months later <em>**

"Booze! Where's the booze? What party has no booze?" Cana drawled, obviously already drunk out of her mind.

"It's not a party, it's a manly ceremony!" Elfman reprimanded her.

Evergreen fanned herself and commented, "You finally used that word correctly. This ceremony is certainly...manly." She chortled loudly.

"Shush, the three of you! It's rude." Freed looked unbelievably serious. "This is an important event."

Lisanna nodded in agreement.

"Look, they're almost finished."

On the stage of the guild hall, a dragon slayer and an ice Mage fidgeted again and again.

Gray hissed under his breath, "You ash for brains! I knew I shouldn't have agreed to this!" He surveyed the crowd, "This is embarrassing as hell. Now on your knees, you dolt!"

Natsu clumsily knelt down on one knee. He brought a velvet box out from his pocket, "Holy shit. I think we're doing it wrong."

Rolling his eyes, Gray snapped at him, "You think?"

Pouting childishly, Natsu told him, "But I wanted to skip engagement!"

"Just... Just get it over with." _My cheeks are on fire, dammit. Stop. Blushing! _

Opening the box with a loud snap, Natsu proceeded to yell at the top of his lungs, "GRAY FULLBUSTER, WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

The guild went quiet - one could almost hear a pin drop.

Gray's already red face flushed even further, "You... Simple-minded, unicellular, pea-brained, stupid..." Noticing that all eyes were on him, he quickly burst out, "Just put the stupid ring on me! Shitty Flame!"

Natsu was grinning like he just won the lottery.

"I love you, Gray!" He shouted as he slipped the flame ring onto Gray's ring finger - where it belonged.

_Never take that ring off again, Gray._

Gray forcefully pushed the ice ring in his hands onto Natsu's finger, ignoring his yelp of pain and surprise. "Whatever. Love you too. You're such a - Whoa!"

Before he could react, his lover had swept him off his feet. A strong hand supporting him, he shut his eyes as he was kissed senseless.

The guild broke into a roar of applause.

Makarov guffawed as he announced, "I declare Natsu and Gray married!"

Clapping hard, Lucy turned to Erza, wiping tears from her eyes. "Wait, no marriage vows? And they skipped engagement? What even-" she burst into laughter.

Erza pulled her into a warm embrace. "I'm happy for those two."

_Thank goodness she's not wearing armor._

Lucy hugged back, "So am I."

_I wonder if Loke will ever take me back._

With a supportive and knowing smile, Erza tightened the embrace. "I'm sure he will."

* * *

><p>"Was it really okay not to invite him?"<p>

With a firm nod, Gray answered, "Yes. The invitation would deal even more damage. I sent him a letter informing him, if he wanted to come, he would have. Instead, he chose to leave for another mission." He cast his eyes to the ground, "I'm glad he didn't. I don't want to see him hurt- even more so if I'm the reason."

"Gray..."

"I'll head over to Lamia Scale once he returns. We'll both have cooled down, and we can have a nice talk. I still need to apologize."

Natsu buried his head into Gray's neck.

"You've changed."

Gray smiled, "For the better."

"Lyon aside," Natsu pushed Gray onto their bed, "We just got married."

Blushing lightly, Gray whispered, "Yeah. We did."

They exchanged a chaste kiss.

"I love you."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I _know."_

_"_I love you!_"_

_"_Do me a favor, Natsu. Shut up and kiss me."

**_Ending N._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Double update, and an ending to boot! <em>**

**_I'm not sure I wrapped things up nicely enough, (and I didn't get a lot of feedback for the previous three chapters - am I doing something wrong? T.T) but this was exactly what I had planned when I started the story. This kind of cheesy ending, short and sweet._**

**_There was only supposed to be one ending, but due to popular request, I decided to write another one, ending L (Lyon, duh.) But that might confuse you guys because the story wouldn't continue from here. It would pick up somewhere a few chapters back. So I'm considering not uploading it. _**

**_I don't know, you guys help me decide. I admit, I developed Lyon and Gray's relationship too much to just let it all go to waste. I feel sorry for poor Lyon!_**

**_If I do upload chapters and Ending L, I'll probably edit the N chapters and add "(N)" to the chapter titles so you guys know where two different endings branch off. _**

**_I'm still considering._**

**Please review! Tell me whether you think Ending N was good or bad, and give me your thoughts on whether or not to write out Ending L.**

**- Dreams.**


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